Roses and Thorns
by wrestlefan4
Summary: Formerly "Untitled for Now" Love:A Twist of Fate pls read 1st. Jeff/Kody w/ 4 yr old son Harley. Stella fights w/ptsd. Shan tries to deal w/feelings for a certain someone. The family faces some major ordeals, will it strengthen or break relationship?
1. Chapter 1: Big H: The New Champion

Chapter 1

"M-m-mommy I w-wanna get my lip pierced!"

Harley was climbing up on the cabinets and bugging Kody as she tried to make dinner.

"Mommy said no, Big H."

"Puh-puh-lease!"

"No, and quit whining. If I let you do that you'd have one hell of stutter, we'd have to get a translator." She tugged on Harley's pony tail, it was dark like hers with a couple of blue streaks. That was one thing she had allowed, she wasn't a big stickler for being a bore of a parent, what was wrong with a little rainbow in the hair? It was a family trait. The natural hair color was the only thing he had inherited from Kody, the rest was pure Hardy down to his funny little nose.

"I d-doesn't st-tutter." Harley pooched out his lip and pulled on it with his fingers. "D-dad gots one." He pouted.

Kody put dinner in the oven and scooped Harley up, pulling her little monkey off of the counter.

"You haves one in your no-ose." Harley poked the side of Kody's nose where her little stud glittered. "And you gots one…" He pointed to her eyebrow.

"Here?" Kody started to tickle Harley and he squealed. "Where, there, Big H?" His face lit up as he giggled and shrieked at his mom.

"Geeze, there's some kind of screaming banshee in here." Said Jeff coming in from the deck. "Ah, it's just my son." He smiled.

"D-daddy, help!"

"Okay." Jeff snatched Harley away from Kody and flew him over to the couch. "Better, Big H?"

Harley nodded.

"Good, cause it's my turn!" Jeff started in on the tickling and Harley went back to hiccupping with laughter.

Harley pulled away and grabbed a pillow and hit his dad in the head with it. Soon Jeff and Harley were engaged in pillow wars and Kody was watching happily. The last four years had been great. She was enjoying life as a wife and mother. She was now involved minimally in wrestling, occasionally appearing with Jeff and wrestling once in a while and she loved that too. If she wasn't there for her own career she was most always there in the front row with a cheering Harley sitting on her shoulders to support Jeff. Harley was still young enough he didn't have school and he could travel with them. It made life a lot easier. Kody considered that her baby would be off to preschool soon and felt a tug at her heart. Maybe she would home school him, that way he could travel with them, and then there was the stutter, it would get better with time and speech therapy but for now, well kids are cruel and Kody didn't want to see him laughed at. Of course, the homeschooling idea had nothing at all to do with the fact that Kody really didn't like the idea of her little baby, Big H, heading out into the big wide world already.

"D-Dad c-can I gets my lip pierced?"

Jeff glanced at Kody.

"What did Mommy say?"

Harley just pouted, so there was his answer.

"Can I stay up and w-watch w-wrestling tonight? Blaze an' Sh-Sh-annon gonna be tag teamin' 'gainst Miz and M-orrison. I hopes they win. Blaze and Sh-an I mean they gots titles an' don't want them to lose." Harley climbed up on the back of the couch and attempted some sort of flip but made a crash landing.

"Somehow I don't think that turned out right, Big H." Jeff said leaning over and looking at his son laughing on the floor.

"You can if you quit climbing on the furniture." Harley had just recently got out of a cast when he performed a high-flying move off the stair banister and broke his wrist. Kody opened the oven door to check on the food and nice aromas drifted out into the house.

"Aw, Mom, c-come on, you doesn't let me do nothin' f-fu-un."

Kody looked at her son who was so much like Jeff. She sat down on the couch and gave in to him.

"Okay, try it one more time, but be careful. Let's see what you're made of H."

Harley beamed and climbed onto the back of the couch again. He swayed almost losing his balance but caught himself.

"It's Wrestlemania, H-Harley H-Hardy Big H goin' for the World H-Heavyweight Ch-ampionship against…" He paused for a moment to figure out who his opponent was. "The U-Undertaker." Harley flexed his arms as if he were showing off for the crowd. Kody grinned at him he was such a little cutie. "I-if he can makes this move, it looks like we mi-ight has a new Ch-ampion on our hands! Can he do it?"

"If he quits showing off his huge muscles and gets down to business." Said Jeff with a little laugh.

"You're inter-uptin' my cuh-omentary, Dad." Harley scolded. "He's goin' for it peoples, watch this!"

Harley completed his move this time landing on his feet.

"Yeah, Taker is out cold and Big H goin' for the pin!"

Jeff leaned over the couch and counted slapping his hand on the back of the sofa.

"One, two, three! Ah we have a new Champion!" Jeff cheered.

Harley looked at his mom smugly.

"See, I'm the n-ew Ch-ampion."

"So you are." Said Kody leaning over the back of the couch and picking him up and over it and sitting him in her lap. "Know what you get for winning?"

"Ice cream?" He asked hopefully. "I gets my lip pierced?" He asked even more hopefully.

"No silly, you get kisses, lots and lots of big slobbery wet ones!" Kody covered him in messy kisses as he shrieked and giggled.


	2. Chapter 2: Take a Chill Pill

Chapter 2

Shannon woke up next to her and couldn't remember her name. She had come into his shop to get inked and now he was in her bed. Another one night stand, the story of my life. He thought swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. She stirred.

"Hey…you're still here?"

"Just leaving." He said putting his pants on.

"Okay." She smiled up at him pleasantly. It didn't matter to her and in the past Shannon wouldn't have cared but these random sexual encounters were beginning to grate on his nerves. Sure, sex is good, no one can argue with that, but Jeff was married and settled with a family and Matt and Blaze were whatever they were, and Shannon was still drifting around like a hobo from one bed to the next. When he went home to his own house it was still the same as it was, cold, lonely, empty. He noticed more and more he stayed away from the place. He found himself hanging at the tat shop needlessly, or going out more than usual and ending up drunk or in someone's arms or both, or bugging Matt and Blaze too much, or using Jeff and Kody and Harley as his surrogate family. The latter was his favorite pass time, plus, Kody was always willing to set an extra place at her table and she was goddess of the kitchen. It beat what Shan could make any day.

He turned to the tattooed woman before leaving.

"Hey, wanna go out sometime?"

She lifted her head up and blinked her sleepy eyes.

"Hhmmm, I don't really have time for dating and stuff. You want to come over and get some again you got my number." She said and rolled over entrenching herself in blankets.

Shannon walked out looking through the names and numbers in his cell and he deleted hers. Not wanting to go home he stopped by the shop, but they were running fine with out him. He thought about stopping in at Matt and Blaze's but remembered they were gone to somewhere in Indiana because Blaze's mom passed away. Driving a little further he came upon Jeff and Kody's place. They were probably having breakfast and Harley was probably doing something cute or getting himself into trouble. He smiled driving past, they didn't need him intruding in on their family everyday. Go home Shan, jeeze, you're such a loser. He told himself.

"I d-don't wanna go." Said Harley as he climbed onto his mom and dad's bed and watched Kody packing things into a suitcase. He blinked at her with his big green eyes, like Jeff's, and tried to use them against her.

"Why not? You always love to go see Daddy wrestle."

"No, I wanna st-ay here. Wanna go st-ay with Sh-sh-an-annon." When the eyes didn't work he started to jump up and down on his parents bed as though it were a trampoline. Maybe she would get annoyed and give in.

"Harley, Shan has other things to do rather than chase your butt around his house all weekend."

"No him don't." Harley attempted a flip which was more of a flop and Kody had to catch him to keep him from busting his head on the nightstand.

"You're clumsly." She said up-righting him. He went back to bouncing. Kody went to her dresser and pulled something out.

"What's th-at?" Harley asked pointing at the box in his mom's hand.

"Woman stuff." She said tucking it away. Harley wrinkled up his Hardy nose in disgust.

"Woman stu-uff, gross. Girls are y-ucky, 'cept for you." He added trying the flip again and crashing into the headboard. Kody laughed at him, shaking her head.

"Get down from there, monkey, and go see what Daddy's doing."

Harley listened to his mom for once and took off to find Jeff. He was in the bathroom looking at a bottle.

"D-daddy, watcha doin?"

Jeff startled and looked down at his son.

"Nothing, Big H." He put the bottle back into the medicine cabinet.

"Mom a-always knows when I sa-ays nothin' it's not true." Harley climbed up on the vanity and looked at his reflection in the mirror next to his dads. "D-dad when can I g-get's a beard like you?" Harley rubbed his chin and Jeff smiled at his son.

"That's far into the future." Said Jeff studying his own reflection. Time to change up the hair colors, he thought to himself.

"Mom sa-ays I'm cu-lumsy. Cuh-can I stays with S?"

Harley sometimes referred to Shan as simply 'S' because he endlessly butchered his name with his unforgiving stutter. Jeff shrugged and pulled out his cell phone. Harley smirked, feeling proud of himself. I won, he thought, and grinned.

Kody and Jeff drove to Shan's house with Harley bouncing excitedly in the back seat.

"He's up to something." Kody said under her breath. Jeff heard her and raised an eyebrow. Kody tried to grill Harley on the way there but she couldn't foil his little plot, whatever it may be. She was sure he had something cooking up there in his mischievous head.

"Hey, my main man!" Shannon greated Harley when Kody walked him into the house. Shan stooped down to knock knuckles with the little man.

"Hey, keep an eye on him. I have a feeling he's looking to get into trouble." Kody warned.

"A Hardy? Pssh, never." Shannon waved her away with his hand. "We'll be okay, Mom."

Kody tugged on Harley's pony tail and gave him a good bye kiss.

Well, Shan's house was no longer empty. He had a little rug-rat running through the hallways and screeching…at…Shannon rolled over to look at his clock. The little red numbers stared back at him, telling him it was 5:22 am. Shan groaned as he heard Harley's feet clomping down the hallway. He bounded into the bedroom and made a flying leap onto Shannon's bed.

"Hi. W-wake up S." Harley started to bounce on the bed and show off for Shannon doing flips and all sorts of acrobatics.

"Don't your parents ever tell you not to play Rey Mysterio on the furniture?" Shannon asked sitting up and rubbing his eye.

"Yep." Harley quipped, still hopping.

"You don't listen huh?"

"Nope. Hey wa-atch this!" Harley started to attempt something but his foot caught the edge of the bed and he toppled off and landed in a heap on the floor.

"That was awesome. Did you hurt the floor?" Shannon asked getting out of bed and hearing his back pop.

"Um…don't think so." Harley picked himself up and went right back to jumping on the bed.

"You need to take a chill pill." Shannon laughed and watched as Harley tried to attempt the same move again.

"What's chi-hill pills?" He finally stopped and crawled across the bed and climbed up on Shannon's shoulders. "I-is that what Da-addy gots?" He traced his little finger over one of Shan's tattoos. "I wants a t-tat like you and D-Dad has."

"What did you say, Big H?" Shannon reached back for the little boy and lifted him over his head and into his lap.

"I wa-ant's ink like you and D-Dad gots."

"Before that." Shannon didn't like that comment about Dad having "chill pills". It didn't sit right with him. He thought Jeff had overcome that shortly before Kody had stepped into his life.

"Oh…I d-doesn't 'member. I'm hungry."

Shannon shrugged as Harley climbed down from his lap and started to run through the house again. Maybe it was nothing. Maybe Harley saw Jeff with some Tylenol or aspirin something simple like that, it must be. Jeff was supposed to be finished with that part of his life.

I love Harley, I hope I have a silly little son like this someday. Review please! By the way, what do you think about Harley's stutter? If it is too annoying I will lessen it, but I think it's cute. Thanks!!


	3. Chapter 3: Surprises

Chapter 3

"Hey S…know wha-at would be real cool?"

"What would be real cool, Big H?"

Harley was holding onto the remote which he had been holding hostage all day. He was watching "The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack" which seemed really stupid to Shan but Harley seemed to like it.

"I gets m-my lip pierced."

Shannon gave him a weird look. The kid is four years old and already wants to be a freak…but look who he hangs around with, Shannon thought.

"What did your Mom or Dad say?"

"Th-ey said it's o-okay." Harley blinked up at him with his big green eyes.

"Did they really?"

"Y-yeah call 'em a-an see if you d-doesn't believe me."

Shannon got out his phone but then remembered Kody always turned her cell off during a match and Jeff would not answer his right now. Shannon shrugged and disappeared into another room for a few minutes. Harley watched intently as he reappeared and when he saw that he was going to do it he beamed excitedly.

"It might hurt Big H, are you sure?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Alright, quit jumping around like a kangaroo, you have to hold still…"

Harley held still and closed his eyes waiting. It couldn't be that bad…I'm not a wuss…I'm Big H! Harley said to himself as Shan got ready.

"Here goes…hold still Harley quit wiggling…done."

"It huuurts!" He wailed with a couple of tears running down his cheeks. "Do-does it look s-sweet?" He asked wiping at his eyes. He touched it with his little fingers and winced.

"It looks awesome Big H, it's swelling but it'll go down."

Shannon took him into the bathroom where he climbed up onto the sink to admire his new piercing in the mirror. He wiped his eyes which were still leaking a bit.

"Like it?"

"Yep. He-ey S…don't tell Muh-om or D-Dad that I cried okay?" He looked at Shannon seriously and Shan could not get over how cute this kid was.

"Alright buddy, cross my heart I won't tell."

Harley latched on to Shannon's neck in a hug and Shan felt his heart go warm. He really loved Harley as his own son. Shan's phone started to ring so he pulled Harley down from the sink and let him run off to watch cartoons or get in to some sort of trouble. He looked at his phone and saw Stella was calling.

"Hey, Stell."

"Shannon, they're not here. I came home and they're all gone…I think they got them I have to go get them!" Her voice sounded frightened. She was having an 'episode' again. Since Stella had been discharged nearly four years ago she had been dealing with depression, nightmares, and occasional flashbacks.

"Stella, it's okay, they're gone for wrestling and Harley is over here with me."

There was a long pause and Shannon wondered if she had hung up.

"Stell?"

"I…I'm sorry." Her voice was shaky and he could tell she was crying.

"It's okay. Don't worry about it, are you alright?"

"I am fine." She said plainly and hung up.

Stella felt so stupid. Why could she not remember something that simple, that they were gone for wrestling? Instead she had to walk into the house and go nuts thinking her sister, brother-in-law, and nephew had been abducted by insurgents or some such bull crap.

"You've been back in the States four years, idiot." She whispered to herself under her breath, chastising her behavior. "You're not over there anymore."

She felt bitter and angry and guilty when she said it, as though she should still be over there. Sometimes she did think that she should be. It was her place and she had cracked and now what was she? She had no military career, her wrestling career was lost, and she lived with her sister and barely held down a part time job as a waitress, which by the way she hated.

"I should have been dead with the rest of them." Stella plopped down onto the couch and felt tears tracing pathways down her cheeks. "Stupid mother-fuckers!" She grabbed a small sculpture off the coffee table and barely stopped herself from throwing it to the floor and watching it bust into pieces. It was Jeff's, and she had busted one before, and he had been kind enough not to hold it against her. She had wanted him to get mad, she had wanted him to yell. People treated her like a child now that she had this 'problem'. Why did it give them permission to feel sorry for her, she didn't want them to, she did enough of that for everyone else. She replaced the sculpture and walked upstairs to her room but stopped at the bathroom. She knew that Jeff kept a stash of pain-killers in an aspirin bottle. Kody was allergic to aspirin, therefore she would never touch it and find out. Stella dumped a few pills into her palm and ambled down the hallway to her room where she curled up on her bed and stared at the pills. She'd taken some before and Jeff hadn't noticed. She suddenly felt angry at him. What was his excuse for taking them, his stupid wrestling? What did he have to be relieved from he had a good life he wasn't some nut job like she was. What gave him the right? He has nothing to escape from but me…memories flashed through her mind like a collage of horrible slides. She could feel the hot, dry, desert air around her, the harsh rubbing of her fatigues, they way the boots always hurt her feet, the gritty taste of sand in her mouth and the feel of it on her skin. She could see the little girl standing in front of her. She could see that innocent little child with her dirty bare feet and bronzed skin, her ebony hair falling around her face, her face with those precious, huge, coffee eyes. She trusted you, Stella, she trusted you!

She could feel fresh tears washing over her face warm and wet and her out stretched palm with the three little pills in it began to shake as her mind dredged up memories that were just as real as they had been four years ago. She put her palm to her lips, ready to dump the pills into her mouth and swallow, to swallow them and be free of her pain for a while at least, but her cell buzzed on her hip disturbing her. It was Shannon calling back.

"Harley wants to go out for pizza." He said. She stared at the three pills in her hand looking like her temporary saviors. "Do you want to come?"

Stella sighed and made a fist, cupping the pills inside. She knew what the right answer was. She needed to go with Shan and Harley instead of staying here and doing this. But what she wanted to do was in her hand.

"Okay." She said reluctantly. She hung up the phone and thought of what she had just done. I have agreed to spend an evening out in public, I hate people. I have agreed to eat pizza, unhealthy. I have agreed to go out with Shannon aka 'The Biggest Dumbass Who Ever Lived' and my hyper-active nephew. She tucked the three pills into the pocket of her jeans. After that kind of evening, she may need them for a migraine.

When Shannon picked her up in his Hummer Harley leaned over her seat and tapped her on her shoulder.

"Aunt S-Su-Stella." He gave her a big smile and she glared at the ring in his lower lip.

"Your Mom said no." She stated bluntly.

"Sshh!" Harley tried to hush her.

"That's funny, I was told it was okay." Shannon shook his head. "I'm going to be in the dog house with Kody."

"He's four years old and you took his word for it? You're intelligent." She reached over and patted Shannon's leg. "It's okay, we all have our little flaws."

"Auntie your not ma-mad 'bout it?"

Stella smirked.

"I figure your Mom can handle this." She said and thought of how Kody was going to react. She'd probably be irritated at first, more at Shannon than Harley, but in the end she would melt because Harley tended to make her do that, via his irresistible cuteness. The worse problem was, he knew he was cute, and he chose to use it.

Later than evening the three were back at Shannon's house and Harley had fallen asleep with his head in Stella's lap. Shan put his arm around her as she ran her fingers through Harley's dark hair.

"Can I fall asleep in your lap too?" Shannon whispered.

"I don't make men fall asleep…and no." Stella replied as Shannon scooted a little closer to her. "What are you doing?"

"Being subtle, 'cause I'm good like that." He said with a laugh.

"Not when we have the kid here." Harley stirred on her lap and rolled over.

"All I'm doing is being close to you. I'm not trying to get in your pants or anything." Shannon defended. Like he would really be that much of a pig, he felt a little offended, but it was Stella and she was blunt and that's how it was.

Stella scooped up Harley into her arms and took him into a guest bedroom and tucked him in. She wondered why she was doing this, she actually wanted to have sex with Shannon. They had a love-hate friendship. Sometimes they were great around each other, other times they grated on each others nerves. They were so opposites, but tonight he seemed very appealing to her if she ignored his quirkiness and personality. Anyway, he was trying to make moves on her and sex was sex and she had done without for quite some time now. There was nothing wrong with a couple of bodies clashing in passion…and anyway he wouldn't be talking so he would be tolerable.

Shannon was surprised she had come onto him. Sex hadn't really come into the picture because of the weirdness of their friendship, and it wasn't what he was aiming for tonight, honestly. He just liked the feel of having her and Harley close to him. But Stella had pushed it further. She was now riding him and she felt so good. He lost his hands moving around on her tight body and feeling her heat. She was groaning as she moved her hips rocking hard and quick. As soon as it was over she was after him again biting and kissing eagerly at his neck and shoulders while one hand stroked between his legs making him throb again.

"Stella…mmm."

"Shut up, don't talk." Stella panted and scraped her teeth across his nipple.

"Kody!" He groaned when she did that and she stopped suddenly staring at him in shock. Shannon felt her stop and started to open his eyes when he saw a hand flying at his face and seconds later felt the sting of it connecting with his cheek. This was getting good…but no, the look on her face told him she was really pissed.

"You…you pig!" She yelled and slapped him again and climbed off of him.

Shannon sat up confused as Stella grabbed her bra from the floor and went searching around for her underwear.

"What…what did I do?"

"You really don't know? Amazing!" Stella stomped around the room gathering up her clothes and dressing.

"Stella…"

"That's not what you called me." She hissed at him as she pulled her shirt over her blonde head.

"Wha…what did I call you?"

There was a long awkward silence as Stella didn't answer him. She pulled on her jeans.

"Try Kody." She said getting her shoes. "Take me home."

The next morning Kody and Jeff were at his door to pick up Harley. The weekend of dealing with a crazed little kid was over. But somehow, that wasn't the worst of his problems. Shannon could still not believe he had called her name out during sex with Stella and just seeing Kody standing in his doorway made the color drain from his face. Harley walked up to his mom with his hand over his mouth.

"Shan…what's wrong?" Kody asked noticing him go white.

"Nothing…" He said feeling awkward.

"Surprise Mom!" Harley moved his hand, revealing his pierced lip.

I love this chapter, first we have the scenario with Shan accidently calling out Kody's name...then cute little Harley, surprise mom! With his lip...lol...please let me know what you think! Thank you muches!


	4. Chapter 4: Fuck Buddies

Chapter 4

That little box of 'woman stuff' Kody had stuck in her suitcase was not needed after all. She had missed for the second month in a row. She was sitting in the bathroom waiting for the little wand to give her an answer. They had been trying for about a year with no luck. The funny thing was, Harley was the unplanned result of their first time when they had both been too caught up in the moment to remember a small piece of rubber. Now that they actually wanted to have a baby it wasn't working. Her body was weird and it had deceived her twice already and this was probably nothing more than another prank her schizophrenic body was playing on her. She plopped down on the toilet lid and looked at the little wand…error. She tossed it into the trash can, aggravated.

"Mom, wa-atcha doin'?"

"Is there no privacy in this house?"

"Nope." Harley grinned at her and she looked at his lip ring. She was upset about it in the beginning because she couldn't believe how manipulative her son had been, and he was only four. What was he going to do when he was 14? She didn't want to think about that. But it didn't matter now, he looked so damn cute with the thing.

Stella came into the kitchen to see Harley climbing on the table.

"Get down from there, Big H." Stella scooped him up and gave him a tickle. She looked at the table and then up at Kody who was cooking something. "Why is there an extra place at the table?"

"I called Shan and invited him."

Stella scowled.

"What?"

"You dote over him too much. He's over here all the time like he doesn't have a life of his own." She put Harley down and he went right back to the table.

"That's a mean thing to say, he's one of my best friends and he's by himself and he doesn't cook so why not have him over? He's part of our family."

Stella gave a little shrug and pulled Harley down from the table again.

"You need a leash for your son." Stella got a pop out of the fridge and popped the tab with a hiss. "Besides, you don't have Blaze and Matt over as much as Shan, and Matt is your brother-in-law."

"I don't see what the big deal is, Shan is by himself so maybe I have him over a lot but he's part of our family and I dump Harley on him once in a while so I can have him over if I feel like it. What's going on here?"

Stella shrugged again and sipped her cola.

"You've been over there a lot yourself." Kody put in tasting some sauce and adding some more spice to it. She tasted again, satisfied, and pulled her dark hair back into a pony tail before sitting next to her sister and stealing a swig of her soda.

"I guess you could say we're fuck-buddies with a love-hate friendship on the side."

"Muh-mom what's fuck bu-buddies?"

Stella covered her mouth to stifle her giggles.

"Stella!" Kody scolded. "Watch the language."

"What is it?" Harley whined.

"Get off the table." Kody pulled him down again. Maybe she did need a leash for him.

"Hey, it's S!" Harley ran across the room and wrapped his arms around Shan's legs hugging his knees."

"Hey little dude!" Shannon smiled at him and ruffled his unruly curly hair.

"Hey girls, what's going on?" He pulled out a chair next to Stella and Harley started climbing on him, perching on his shoulders like a funny little bird. "There's a kid on me…" Said Shan rolling his eyes upward to see Harley waving a hand in front of his face.

"Hi, S!"

Kody went to check the food.

"S, what's f-fuck buddies?"

Shannon pulled Harley off his shoulders and sat him on the edge of the table.

"He's not suppose to be on the table." Stella put in, so Shan set him on his lap instead.

"Um…where did you hear that?"

Harley pointed at Stella who was smirking.

"Fu--" Shannon stopped and corrected his wording. "That word is a grown up word so don't say it."

"How come, wh-at does it me-ean?" Harley looked up at him blinking his green eyes innocently.

"Lots of stuff, quit asking too many questions." Shannon tickled him to avoid the whole thing and Harley started to shriek and giggle.

"I'll ask D-daddy when he ge-ets back from wre-estlin'." Said Harley trying to wriggle free of Shannon's tickling.

Kody laughed, imagining the look on Jeff's face when his four-year-old son asked him what that word meant.

"S, come ou-outside and play wi-ith me 'till Mom ge-e-ets stuff ready." Harley took off outside and Shannon got up to follow. Kody hugged Shannon and gave him a little kiss on the cheek.

"You're so great with him Shan, go have fun only don't get your clothes all messy." She joked tugging on his shirt.

Shan looked sort of sheepish as he nodded to her and went outside to see what Harley was up to.

"Exactly." Stella waggled her finger at Kody. "That's what I mean."

Kody gave her a bewildered look and then turned to look out the window where Shan and Harley were playing. She smiled at them. She had worried about Jeff being gone so much with his career running strong and full force but uncle Matt and Blaze and Shan were there for Harley, and Shan treated Harley like he was his own kid. They were all so good to she and her son, she felt lucky to have them all as a part of her life, and a part of Harley's.

"…and then…Kody, are you listening?"

Kody turned to Stella who was rambling at her.

"What?"

"You do that stuff, you drape yourself all over him and dote on him."

"It's not new, it's just how I am. I love him, I treat Matt and Blaze the same way, Stella what's your problem?"

"Matt and Blaze are gay." Stella bit back, and Kody wondered why she was getting snappy over nothing.

"Look Kody, one time when we were doing it he--" Stella stopped herself, unable to say it. It wasn't exactly easy to tell someone that her best friend, and her husbands' best friend, had called out her name while having sex with her sister. The whole thing was just a bit awkward. "I think…he has feelings for you."

Kody laughed.

"You're crazy, he's my best friend. We love each other like close friends, the same way I love Matt and Blaze."

"Matt and Blaze are gay." Stella repeated scowling at her empty soda can.

"I get that." Kody was starting to get annoyed. She had known him for five years now and if he was harboring some secret feelings for her she would have found out by now. Besides, I'm married to his best friend. Kody suddenly missed Jeff and wished he was there. A horrible thought occurred to her…was she transferring some of her affection towards Jeff to Shannon, just because Jeff wasn't there? That couldn't be, Kody was always touchy-feely with people it was just her nature. It was just Stella having to go stir up shit and poke her nose where it didn't even belong. Kody had no reason to question her actions she was an affectionate person and she had always been that way and always would be.

"I'm going home with you tonight." Stella said latching onto Shannon's arm as he started to leave. Evening was growing dark and Kody was trying to get Harley calmed down so he would go to bed in an hour or two. Shannon looked at Stella's face, she looked pissed, again. At least he could read her pissed look, he had seen it enough to recognize it almost before it fully formed on her face.

"Am I in trouble?"

"We need to talk." Stella stated plainly.

Stella and Shannon sat on his sofa and she was grilling him and he was mumbling stupid stuff.

"You have feelings for my sister."

"No."

"Yes you do, don't lie. I'm not stupid and you are too easy to read." He was looking down at his feet and she raised his chin and stared at his face until he looked away from her. "See, you're lying."

"Damn it, Stella, it's nothing." He scowled down at his own hands, studying them, wanting her to leave.

"How long?"

He didn't answer, his scowl just melted into a tormented looking frown and Stella actually felt sorry for him for a moment, but it passed. Unlike her sister, she was not full of love and flowers for everyone. Shannon mumbled.

"I can't hear you!" Stella barked as though she was ordering someone in her unit. The thought made her shudder and she tried to shove away her own feelings which were now trying to drag her down, suddenly and swiftly they come, like an undercurrent sucking and dragging things out to sea. She fisted her hands and tried to focus.

"I said…" Shannon threw back his head and sighed. "I have always…liked her. Whatever you want to say…feelings…I don't know. It doesn't matter, I knew Kody and Jeff were made for each other, you could see it from the moment they met." He hung his head rather sadly and his blonde hair fell into his distressed face.

"Why don't you try getting a life of your own instead of leeching off of Jeff and Kody's family life." Well, maybe that didn't come out quite right. Leeching was a little harsh. Oh well, thought Stella. Shannon was reacting to that statement badly, he looked ticked off now, she didn't really care.

"Leeching? Leeching, ha! You're the one who's leeching off of them it's been four years why don't you get your ass out of their house and into some place of your own, you're a big girl aren't you? I thought you were suppose to be some tough army bitch, you live in the guest room of your sisters house and I'm the one who's leeching!" Shannon was in her face shouting at her and now she was about to snap at him.

"Get out of my face!" She bellowed at him and slapped him. He quieted and sat down again staring at his hands once more. He looked like he might cry, God, he was such an idiot.

"What is your deal? I'm sorry I whacked you okay?"

"I hate being here by myself." He growled at the house in general.

"You're not by yourself, I'm here." She touched his knee.

"Thank you Stella, I feel so comforted." He gave her sarcastic smile.

"If you can't love the one you want, love the one you're with." Stella suggested and she started to blow on his ear, barely touching her lips to it, because she knew it made him go all shivery. He was fighting to resist it but she kept on doing it. She smiled when he couldn't contain it anymore and he shuttered at the feeling of her hot breath teasing his ear.

"Stop it." He shoved at her but she kept on driving him crazy even though he didn't want her to. His body acted out of it's own stupid will. "I don't want a fuck buddy anymore, Stella." But she was crawling all over him and he felt really lonely, she was here, and she was taking his shirt off…then her shirt. He was poking painfully at his jeans, wanting her, so he gave in to her. They went a couple of times and then Stella curled up on his chest. He should have felt good, but he only felt worse.


	5. Chapter 5: Visitors: Parents & Memories

Chapter 5

Kody's week was getting better and better, that was sarcasm. She had tried another pregnancy test and it had come up inconclusive again. She scheduled an appointment to the doctor reluctantly because she absolutely hated going to the doctor. If that wasn't enough Stella was having a bad week and she was let go from her waitress job, Mom and Dad were driving down from Richmond, Virginia (and having the parents over was always pleasant, having them over unexpectedly was even better!) Mom and Dad wouldn't have bothered to come and see her just for her sake but they felt they had to come and check on Stella, their "good daughter" every once in a while and of course they had to try to make sure their grandson was taught at least a couple of decent values. Kody was angry all day just anticipating their arrival. Harley had been driving her mad all day and she had been snippy with him too much. When she looked out of the window around noon he was climbing on his swing set and doing some treacherous things. She was going to go outside and scold him because she didn't need anything else to happen today, but as she stepped out onto the back deck she heard a shriek and a crash. Matt was currently sitting in the ER with Harley who most likely re-broke his wrist. Jeff should be down there with Harley. Kody thought to herself, and heaped some of her resentment towards her parents onto Jeff who was not even in the picture today. She went around the house cleaning and making sure everything looked nice enough. She hated to bend over backwards just for them but she hated even more to hear their bitching. Her attempts to please them were probably useless, they would find something. She thought of Harley coming home in another cast and smiling up at his grandparents with a lip ring. Kody did not care if she pleased her parents, she had learned to forgo that dream long ago, but she did strive to keep the nagging at a minimum.

Kody flipped on the t.v. to keep her company as she dusted some shelves that were, even in her opinion, over due for a dusting. She stopped when something on the news caught her ear and she stood there watching the t.v. screen with a dirty rag poking out of her hand which was poised on her hip. Her other hand was brushing a few stray locks of pink and purple away from her face.

It seemed as though a couple of rape cases that had happened a few months back in Fayetteville had been linked to some others in the Raleigh area. The world was going crazy. She flipped the channel to VH1 where they were playing classical rock tunes. She would much rather be listening to that than the depressing news. She went back to her dusting. At least Mom and Dad wouldn't be staying too long, they were on their way to Florida to visit one of Dad's old Vietnam buddies.

Around five o'clock Matt called to let her know Harley was in a cast again. Matt offered to take him for the night since Kody had enough to put up with just with her sister and parents so Kody agreed.

"Stella, are you coming down? Mom and Dad just pulled into the driveway." Kody called up the stairs to her sister. She would probably have to drag her out of bed and down there herself. "Stell?" No reply. Kody hurried up the stairs and found her sister curled up on her bed in pajamas and a sloppy ponytail. "Come on, Sis. Mom and Dad are here." Stella grunted at her but Kody tugged on her until she moved, reluctantly, and followed Kody down stairs. Kody cast a worried little glance at Stella. She had that far away look in her eyes as if she was not at the moment in Cameron, North Carolina, but that she was in a bleak, arid, desert, in the armpit of the Middle East.

"Mom, Dad." Kody tried to be cheerful as she ushered her parents into the house. They were the same as usual, never changing, they had looked the same to her when she was four as they did now. Dad was still big and burly and he still wore his salt-and-pepper hair in a crew-cut. His cold eyes looked at her from under thick, dark, brows that always seemed to draw together in an almost scowl. Her Dad was carrying two army-green duffle bags and he plopped them down near the couch and stretched to pop his back. Mom remained unchanged as well. She had her same boring little bob haircut, her plain brown hair curved gently under her chin, showing only the slightest touches of gray. Her eyes were still hard and dark, and her lips were still a tight little line. She was still thin and she still wore the same glasses, round little things that made her look like a school marm. Tucked under her arm was Percy, the Pomeranian that Kody despised. The little dog always stank and it always—yep, there it went, peeing on the carpet just as soon as Mom put him down.

"Percy!" Margaret Turpin scolded scooping up the little fur-ball.

Kody tried to keep cool as she went to get some paper-towels to try to soak up the mess from the carpet.

"Well, where's little Harley, and where's your gem of a husband?" Asked Margaret scratching her dogs pointed little ears. She had a little smirk on her face that said 'I am better than you'.

"Jeff is traveling for work, Harley is staying over with Matt and Blaze." Kody said walking to the kitchen to dispose of the soaked towel.

Frank Turpin snorted and shook his head. "Wrestling."

"Our grandson is over there with those two…" Marge trailed off leaving it up to her husband.

"Queers, let's see, faggots, fairies?"

"Dad, stop it." Kody barked at him and he and his wife looked offended. "Matt is Harley's uncle and there is nothing wrong with Matt or Blaze." Kody reminded them. She looked over at Stella who was sitting on the stairs looking lost. "There's your other daughter. She's the one you guys really came to see." Kody gave her mother a glare when she pursed her thin lips together.

"Kody, you know that's not so."

Kody shrugged and checked on her food.

Frank sat down next to Stella to talk to her and Marge poked her nose in the oven to see what Kody was cooking.

"Kody, dearest, you have the heat too high…" Marge turned back the knob.

"Mother I fix this all the time and Jeff and Harley and everyone else loves it."

"I'm surprised Jeff is home enough to eat your cooking." She turned back the knob a second time after Kody had just turned it back up. They stared at each other for a moment, exchanging glares. "Kody, please, your father and I stop in for a visit only on occasion and you must act up with your usual attitude. Can't you be corrigible for once?"

Kody bit her lip and started to set plates for her family.

Mom complained about the dinner. She didn't come right out and complain but she made little hints here and there about how the chicken was a bit tough, or how she usually made it this way, or how she usually cooked it in this type of dish, of course she was only trying to give Kody helpful advice, ha. Kody stuffed food into her mouth to keep from screaming at them both. Dad was his usual self, reminiscing about old times that Kody had heard about a zillion times over her childhood. Kody glanced over at Stella who was poking at her food with a glazed expression. Dad's conversation about 'Nam and Desert Storm was probably making her uncomfortable.

"You had all these fucking hippie types, I'm glad people these days wised up. You don't get anything done by waving signs around. You support your troops and they get the job done, wham-bam-thank-you ma'am. Damn long-hairs." He scowled over at Kody as though she was wearing love beads and flashing a peace sign. "You know something that was pretty rough was bein' over there for the holidays. I mean spending Thanksgiving and Christmas over there watching your back for Commies all the time, bein' away from your family and sittin' around wishing you could taste some eggnog or something." He smiled remembering. "But we had some good times. My pal Ted had a guitar and he'd always whip it out and play Christmas songs, with that stupid Santa hat up on his bald head--"

Stella stabbed her fork hard into her chicken making her plate clatter. Dad looked up at her, interrupted in his commentary. Mom took off her glasses and started to polish them on her shirt.

"You okay girl?" Dad asked stupidly, as though Stella really looked just peachy.

"It's got a little Santa hat…see the little hat?" Stella said in a sweet voice, as though she was talking to a child. "See, it's for you. Go ahead, we're the good guys." She held out her empty hand.

"Stella…" Frank started but didn't know what to say.

Stella closed her eyes and her hands began to shake, her brow grew damp with sweat and a look of panic was forming its self on her face. She opened her eyes and looked around wildly, shoving her chair back and throwing herself to the ground shouting.

"Oh my God! Oh, oh no!" She covered her head for a moment and then slowly unwrapped her arms. She raised her head up very slowly looking around the room shivering with fear, glancing here and there with tears in her eyes. "Claybrook, Claybrook!" She crawled across the floor and knelt over something that only she could see. Marge was going to pick her up from the floor but Kody stopped her. She had learned not to mess with Stella when she was having a flashback, you just had to let it pass.

Stella knelt over Claybrooks body. He was splattered with blood and he was convulsing. His right arm and a bit of his face on that same side was missing. He looked up at her with terrified, wild eyes.

"My daughter, my daughter was just born, my daughter!" He kept shouting over and over. Stella clutched his blood soaked shoulders.

"You're going to be okay, they're getting people in here you're going to be okay!" She shouted at him but his convulsions were lessening and his eyes were growing emotionless, dead. "Claybrook!" She was screaming his name and shaking his shoulders but he was gone. She looked around her. Where there had once been a marketplace there was chaos. Men and women were walking around sobbing, bloody and busted. Bodies littered the ground. Some wore traditional Middle Eastern dress, others wore blood-stained fatigues. Stella pulled herself up and stumbled over to someone she recognized. It was her close friend Mellissa Ortiz. Melly was a single mother of twin boys and those boys were waiting for her back home. Stella cradled the woman in her arms. She was clearly dead, her insides were leaking from her stomach and her right leg was gone. Her red life force leaked freely from her wrecked body and mingled with the uncaring desert sand. Stella rocked the corpse in her arms. The only thing that was flashing through her mind was the picture of those two little boys Mellissa had shown her so often, Ricky and Ronny. Stella wept as she thought of them learning of the news. She swiped a bloody hand across her face and her eye caught something else, something worse. A child was curled up into a little ball shivering and crying. She crawled over to him and saw that he was holding the hand of a dead woman, his mother. When she tried to take his other hand he smacked at her and yelled at her in his native tongue and spit at her. Stella looked at all the carnage around her. People were screaming and wailing and holding on to loved ones. Medics were arriving and transporting the wounded soldiers, civilians, and children. Stella stood up, wobbling, and looked around at this hell. Her mind was going numb, things were spinning in a mess of confusion, she was yelling but she didn't know what or why. She stumbled across bodies and pieces of bodies feeling sick to her stomach and lost, completely lost and alone. She started to run, wanting to get away, and in her hectic plight to flee the insanity around her she tripped. As she picked herself up to her knees she noticed something just a few feet in front of her. Her heart leaped into her throat with terror as she thought she recognized something. She crept over gory, bleeding, bodies and stopped. A small brown hand was clutching to a blood stained teddy bear with a little red hat on its head. She looked down at the thing in horror. She had given it to that little girl and she was trapped under this cart. Maybe the cart had protected her and saved her, maybe it had. With one move Stella overturned the cart hoping to see the little girl lying there only scratched and bruised. Instead she was looking down at a severed arm clutching to an innocent toy. Near the arm and under the cart was a piece of a strap and a couple shards of metal. Stella's gift to that little girl had earned her an explosive strapped to her chest. Merry, merry, Christmas.

I know, this is a very serious chapter. The next one is also...sorry, but I have to. Please let me know what you think, and if anyone out there has served in the military or has loved ones serving in the military, thank you for your service/sacrifices. :) And thank you for all the reviews thus far.


	6. Chapter 6: Know Your Place

Chapter 6

Kody sat with her sister on the stairs as Mom put dishes in the sink. Stella was trembling and weeping and Kody held her trying to assure her that things would be alright. She felt small and insignificant trying to tell her sister, who had been to a warzone, that things would be alright. How could Kody tell her that? She stroked her sisters blond hair and listened to her hitching breathing and sniffles.

"Stella, Stella." Dad said gruffly. "Pull yourself together, it's been four years. It's time for you to get tough and put this to bed. I've been to 'Nam and you don't see me--"

"Dad!" Kody stood up suddenly furious with him. "Stella is not you, and she's not just some emotionless, void, mechanical robo-dummy! You can't just tell her to fucking get tough!"

It happened before Kody could blink. Her father raised his big, calloused, hand and gave her a hard slap across the face, it took her so of guard she stumbled back into the stairs and had to grab the stair railing to brace herself. Stella had gone quiet and stared up at her Dad with wide eyes. Mom stopped with a soapy plate in her hand.

"Kody you better remember who you're talking to, I am your father! Maybe that reminded you of your place!"

Kody touched her stinging cheek and felt that it was also warm with angry tears.

"I…I was reminded of something, Dad. That's why I never wanted to be like you and Mom!"

"Stella doesn't belong here, she should come and stay with her mother and I." Dad said ignoring his younger daughter's retort.

"D-don't fight." Stella said rubbing at her eyes. "I'm getting out of here, all I did was cause problems." She got up and pushed past Kody and Frank.

"Sis, where--"

Her answer was the door slamming. Kody walked to the couch and sank down on it feeling suddenly tired, weary, used up. She touched her cheek again and felt that it was still hot from the strike.

"Frank, Kody can't handle this." Her Mom had finished the dishes and walked over to her father and they were now talking quietly by the stairs as though Kody couldn't hear them. "Why don't we just drive down to Fayetteville and stay in a motel."

"You don't have to." Kody said half-heartedly.

"We know you don't want us here." Her Mom put in and she picked up Percy and tucked the stinky dog under her arm.

When they left Kody screamed, frustrated, into the empty house and buried her head into a pillow. She rolled over after a few minutes and looked up at the ceiling. She was missing Jeff and wondering what he was doing and wishing whatever he was doing that he was doing it with her. Well, you can't be up his butt 24/7, she told herself. But it wasn't like that, he was just gone so damn much.

Kody flipped the t.v. on. She got up when there was a knock on her door. She rolled her eyes. Stella had probably decided to come home after all, or worse, her parents had changed their minds and were coming back to stay over night.

She opened the door and was pushed back into one of Jeff's sculptures. She looked up at the hulking man as he shut the door behind him and locked each lock. She got up and started to run for the back door but his huge paw grabbed her roughly and held her to his immense frame, so she was facing away from him, not able to see his face. He held her there with one arm, rippled with muscle and scars, and with his other hand he withdrew a knife and flipped it open. The blade glimmered and Kody felt her knees go rubbery but his tree trunk arm held her to his chest. Kody shrieked as he pressed the cold blade to her neck.

"What…wh-what do you want…" She squeaked feeling small and helpless. Sure, she was trained to get out of holds and such things but not from a man who was this huge. She started to struggle against his arm and he slid the knife just enough to let it bite.

"Stop struggling."

All kinds of thoughts were running through her mind. What if this man killed her? She thought of Harley and figured her best bet was to let him do what he wanted. If she pushed the wrong buttons he could kill her with one simple move, but even if he got what he wanted, he could still leave her body lifeless in a pool of blood. Kody started to weep. Fear was running up and down her nerves sending her brain into a terrified frenzy. She tried to take breaths, she tried to calm down. He loosened his grip on her and slid the knife again, reminding her it was there, reminding her not to try anything funny.

"Take your pants off."

Kody's hands trembled as she fumbled with her belt, trying to loosen it. It wasn't just her hands, everything was trembling, her gut was knotting itself up and she was fighting with her dinner which wanted to escape from her stomach, and her heart was pounding so hard she thought it might break her sternum, and all the time that knife was there licking her neck, licking and teasing and waiting. His sweaty smell was making her gag, his heavy breaths, him poking into her back. She had her belt undone and her zipper down but she couldn't bring herself to slide her jeans down her hips. She paused, trying to will herself to do something, but just bursting into sobs. Her phone was clipped to her belt and it started to buzz. Stupid! Why didn't you think of this in the beginning! She immediately reached for it and the man was taken off guard. She fumbled it open and started to shout at whoever was calling her but he grabbed it from her with his one free hand and tossed it to the ground and busted it with one monstrous stomp.

"You're lucky I didn't cut you wide open." He tugged her pants down and pushed her down to her knees and forearms, she shivered there like a scared little dog. "Women should know their place." He knelt behind her, his huge mass straddling her, she closed her eyes and wept uncontrollably as he wrapped his mammoth hand around her neck and threatened to choke her. The knife was in his other hand and he used it to cut away her lacy panties. Kody closed her eyes and those reports she had seen on the news flashed through her mind. She was about to be this man's next victim and he was so big, she couldn't escape him. She could only hope someone had heard her frantic cries for help before he had smashed her cell phone, she could only hope.

Once again, I know this is some serious stuff. Please review/ comment...look forward to reading what you have to say. Peace and love and thank you!


	7. Chapter7:Fighting Battles: All By Myself

Thanks to those who reviewed, I appreciate it. :)

Chapter 7

Shannon looked at his phone with a raised eyebrow. He had called Kody to see how things were going when he had been greeted with a shriek. He shrugged and figured it was Stella, having a bad time with her memories. This week had been especially tough on her for some reason. Shannon opened his fridge and retrieved a beer. He sat on the steps of his front porch watching fire flies flicker in the drawing darkness of the evening. He looked at the empty spot beside him on the steps and figured this was the perfect time to put his arm around a girl, only he was alone. He took a swig from his beer.

_When I was young  
I never needed anyone  
And making love was just for fun  
Those days are gone_

He was getting pretty stupid and desperate in his loneliness. Last night he had went out to a bar with Matt and Blaze. That wasn't so bad in itself but he got way too trashed and ended up singing karaoke. Blaze even recorded a little of it on his phone and played it back to him. Shan, who was used to making a fool of himself, actually felt a little embarrassed. There's nothing quite like seeing yourself three sheets to the wind and catterwalling, slurring and off key, to the lovely little tune of "All By Myself". Shan scowled. The guys were not letting him live this one down it was too funny, or so they believed.

He tilted his head back and looked at the stars beginning to wink out and glimmer, happy in their celestial perches. They sparkle like her eyes, thought Shan. He shoved the thought away immediately and mumbled to himself.

"Stop thinking of her that way. Get your head out of your ass." He took a big gulp of his beer and looked down at it. "It's all your fault, you got me up there singing like an idiot. You remind me of Stella, we have a love-hate friendship. Of course, there's also the sex, which I'm not having sex with a bottle. Why am I talking to a bottle?" He shook his head because it was starting to go a little fuzzy. This was not his first this evening. He eyed the half-empty bottle and sat it on the step next to him. Shannon went on talking to himself.

"Yeah and you didn't call her to see how she was you called her because you like to hear her voice. You're really screwed up, this is your best friends woman. I am mentally having an affair with Jeff's wife and just for kicks and giggles I occasionally have sexual relations with her sister, who otherwise can't stand me." Shan rested his head in his hand, feeling confusion and a slight headache running through it.

_Living alone  
I think of all the friends I've known  
When I dial the telephone  
Nobody's home_

"This has to stop. It's been going on too long, four years, yeah that's way too long. You just go on liking her more and more and she just goes on being married to Jeff and living happily ever after which is how it is suppose to be. You want her to be happy more than anything. You don't want to screw anything up for her or Jeff or Harley, you care about them all and they're all happy...wish I was." He hung his head, his blond hair falling softly around his face. "You are pathetic." He said to himself and picked up his beer and drained it. "So are you, buddy. Pathetic." He said to the bottle and tossed into the grass.

_All by myself  
Don't wanna be  
All by myself  
Anymore_

Despite his efforts to keep his mind from her, despite his efforts to douse his ever growing feelings, he was remembering the first time he had met her. They had a contest with peppers at Matt's house and she won by cheating and sticking it inside her cheek. Then she had used the horror movies as a way to glue herself to Jeff. He smiled. He had wished it was him but when he looked over at Kody resting against Jeff, not watching the movie but just losing herself being close to the rainbow-haired man, he had an inkling that she was it for Jeff and he was it for her. It was never meant to be Shannon it was Jeff, it was always Jeff from the beginning and even before. Shan looked up again and watched the stars winking. Kody and Jeff had to be a match written in the stars. He was suddenly full of pain. There is nothing worse than being in love with someone you see often, have in your life regularly, but you can never truly love her the way your heart wants to love her. All you do is keep cramming those feelings away and have meaningless sex with meaningless women, having empty rendevouz with empty bottles, and crying useless tears when no one else is watching, and acting like a big goofball when people are watching. Shannon sighed heavily, closing his eyes against the throb of his headache. He seemed to be getting them more and more. They were the result of his frustrations with his desires.

_Hard to be sure...  
Sometimes I feel so insecure  
And loves so distant and obscure  
Remains the cure_

Shan stood up and walked to the spot where he had tossed his bottle earlier and stooped to pick it up. He looked up when he heard gravel crunching. He shielded his eyes with one hand and squinted at the car. It was Kody's. He smiled, glad it was her. He walked across his lawn and was going to greet her when she opened her car door and stepped out...no, it wasn't Kody.

"Stella?"

"Hey Shan." She snuffled and wiped her nose on her sleeve. "I know, kind of borrowed Sis's car."

"Are you okay?"

"Sure, I'll be fine, I always am. I'm trying to get my shit together, as Dad says, I need to toughen up and kick this crap."

"It just takes time, but I do hope I don't get anymore of those piercing screams when I call."

Stella cocked her head at him.

"What do you mean?"

"I called Kody's cell about..." He pulled out his phone to look at the time he had dialed the number. "...maybe fifteen or so minutes ago. You screamed like a stuck pig and then hung up on me. You don't remember? It's okay, it doesn't matter."

Stella's look of confusion deepened.

"What are you talking about Shan, I didn't call you. I left the house about twenty minutes ago and I didn't take Kody's phone with me."

Shan remembered the shriek he had heard over the phone, it was chilling, but he had attributed it to Stella having one of her flashbacks. If it wasn't Stella screaming then it must have been...but what...why...

"Oh my God!" Shannon grabbed his keys from his pocket and ran to his Hummer. "Stell, move your car."

"What's going on? Calm down Shannon, freak out why don't you. It's just her and my parents fighting, it's common believe me, I grew up with all three of them." Stella touched his arm but he was still fumbling with his fob to unlock the Hummer and speed off.

"No, no that was a bad sound." He yanked his door opened. "Move your car, Stell."

"Shannon it's just my parents giving her hell and she was probably screaming at them. They were at each others throats when I left. Dad slapped her, just let it be. It's family stuff."

Shan paused sitting behind the wheel of his Hummer with the keys in the ignition. The door was still hanging open and it was clanging that annoying mechanical ding-ding-ding that lets a person know the door is opened or someone doesn't have a seatbelt on. Maybe he was over reacting. The shrill cry he had heard over the phone rang in his ears, nagging him, telling him something wasn't right. He got out of his Hummer and shut the door. He slid his keys back in his pocket and shrugged. But it wasn't over, his brow was furrowed, he was still thinking about it and wondering if he was doing the right thing.

"Kody's a big girl she can fight most of her battles." Stella offered.

"Stell, move the car, I just want to go check on things okay? I'm not saying anything is wrong, you're probably right, but I just want to go see. I would feel horrible if something happened and I let it happen."

Stella rolled her eyes.

"Alright, go on. You are thick-headed."

She moved her car and let him go. She pulled back into his drive as his tail lights flashed red in the moonlight and disappeared down the road. Stella ambled across Shannon's lawn and seated herself on his steps. Kody is a big girl, she can fight her own battles, Stella thought once more to herself. They were the same stars she had watched while she was in the Middle East. So what, things had happened, horrible things, things she didn't want to relive but did anyway. There is a time to remember your mistakes and there is a time to learn from them and move on. You too are a big girl, Stella told herself. It's about time you fought your own battle. It's time I fought it all by myself. She tilted her head back and looked up at the stars. _All by myself._

Hope you liked this chapter...dragging out the suspense. :) Don't forget to drop me a line and let me know how I'm doing please. Peace out!


	8. Chapter 8: Rescue Me

Chapter 8

Shannon pulled into the driveway and noticed the car. He'd never seen it around before. It was a black Chevy Caprice that looked like it just made it's great escape from the early eighties. There was no license plate which seemed out of place. He started to worry even more but told himself things were fine. What could happen? He studied the car as he walked past it crunching up the driveway to Jeff and Kody's place. He knocked on the door and heard a chilling scream for help from inside. The doorknob was in his hand immediately and he was jarring it up and down trying desperately to get in and find out what was going on. It was locked. Shannon ran around the house to the back door, his heart pounding hard with anxiety at what he would find. His body was slicked with sweat and it was dripping down his face just from all the horrible visions that were running through his mind. He ran up the steps to the deck and tried to slide the glass doors open but they wouldn't move from the outside. He looked frantically around the deck and grabbed a cinderblock and hurled it through the glass shattering it. He made a run for it into the house to see what was going on. His foot slipped suddenly and he fell to the kitchen floor driving shards of glass into the palm of one hand. He picked himself up quickly and ran through the kitchen to the living room where he stopped short, huffing from his anger as he saw the man holding Kody naked to his immense frame. Her eyes were wide with desperation and a knife blade was pressed to her neck. There was already a small runner of blood from where he was nipping it into her flesh. Her eyes begged him, please, please do something.

Kody had never been so glad to see someone in her entire life. Here was Shannon coming to rescue her. His face was slimy with sweat, his hair was falling all around his face, his hands were balled into tight fists and he looked enraged enough to kill someone. She had never seen him look quite the way he looked standing in her living room and snarling at this man who had barged in to her home and battered and raped her. Kody started to cry as the man poked the tip of his knife to her throat. She could feel a drip of warm blood crawling down her neck like a painful, crimson, teardrop.

"Move and she dies." The man hissed.

It was like an out of body experience. He didn't know he could be that angry or that powerful. Shannon lunged at the colossal man and knocked him off his feet and Shannon fell on top of the two sandwiching Kody in between.

"Kody, get out of here!"

Shan shouted and pushed her away and started to pummel the man with his fists. He beat him with a fury of hard, quick, blows.

Kody ran into the kitchen and she too slipped on the floor which she had just mopped earlier that day. She tumbled down to the tile and came up with glass in her knees and she darted to the phone, nearly tearing it out of the wall in her panic. She kept her finger steady enough to punch in the numbers 9-1-1 and she pressed the phone tight to her ear as she watched what was now transpiring. Shannon rained down blows onto the beast.

"9-1-1 what's your emergency?"

"Um—uh…" You don't have time to fuck up your words, talk for God's sake! Kody's brain yelled at her. She hopped anxiously from foot to foot and then managed to spill out her address to the woman on the phone before losing it again. She paused, taking a deep, shuttering, breath, and the she went on. "There's a guy in my house he fucking pushed me in my house and..and…he raped me." She started to sob. It was truly horrible to hear that word tumble out of her mouth. It sounded so raw, so vulgar, and it was true. "He raped me!" She shouted into the phone filled with anger and grief at how she had been so violated.

"Ma'am, please stay calm and stay on the line. We are sending help, but stay on the line and try to remain calm. What does he look like?"

"Stay calm? Stay calm!" Kody gasped in disbelief. Was this all the woman could say? She hadn't been forced to the ground and fucked like a dog. She didn't have some huge-ass stranger in her house fighting with her best friend. She didn't have a knife to her throat only moments ago, threatening at any moment to snuff out her very life, to extinguish her existence with hungry pleasure. Kody stewed and worked her mouth up and down in silence. She had been ravaged by this lunatic-pervert-scum and she was being told to remain calm? She could think of nothing to express her emotions to this woman who sat secure in some office at the police department.

"Ma'am, hello? Ma'am is he still in the house?"

"Yes," Kody managed to get her voice back though it sounded alien to her. "They're fighting. Shannon came and he busted in and he's…"

The massive man shoved Shannon off of him with one hand and got to one knee to stand up. Shan kicked him in the head and burst out, unable to control his rage.

"You god-damn mother-fucking son-of-a-bitch! What did you do to her, you big ugly fucker what did you do!"

His throat was raw from screaming at this man. He threw himself at the mountainous form again, not wanting to allow him to get up. He had the upper hand, his size was small compared to this man but he was pumped so much his size didn't matter only his wrath and disgust for this pathetic excuse for a human being drove him as he slammed his fists into the mans head and hard, barrel, chest. The large man reached around and pulled Shannon back by his hair and he stood for a moment growling at the smaller man, his knife poised to pierce. Shan pulled away leaving some of his blond hair between the clutching fingers. The man made a run for the kitchen where Kody was still clinging to the phone. The operator, of course, was still instructing her to remain calm. The guy was trying to make a break for the busted glass doors so he could make his escape. No fucking way, thought Shan as he ran after the bastard and launched himself onto the man. The two toppled into the kitchen table, the man's head gave off a loud crack as it struck the thick table leg and blood oozed from his temple.

"What now you son-of-a-cock-sucking-bitch!" Shan was straddled over the man and he grabbed one of Kody's dining chairs and hoisted it above his head ready to bring it down again and again until there was nothing left but a pile of bloody mush and some jagged splinters. I could actually kill him, thought Shan. I could literally smoosh the no-good worthless life out of his body and I wouldn't give a rats ass in hell!

"Shannon!" Kody wailed out as he started to bring the chair down. Suddenly his chest was hurting, full of hot, searing pain. He managed to bring the chair down anyway only not as hard as he had intended. He groaned as another shot of pain issued through his chest.

"Shannon!" Kody screamed again and dropped the phone clattering to the floor. She ran over as Shannon felt a third sizzle of pain tear through his chest. The man shoved Shannon off of him and scurried to his feet. He bolted through the broken glass door.

Kody knelt next to Shan who was lying on the tile floor trying to prop himself up on his elbows. He squeezed his eyes shut in pain and collapsed back to the floor. He had never felt that sort of pain before in his life, never that much pain, his head was going dizzy and he was struggling to breathe. He opened his eyes slightly and saw Kody, white and in shock, kneeling by his side. Her poor face was so frightened, her beautiful eyes were so wide with fear, that son of a bitch, he did it to her. He did it to her! Shan closed his eyes and clenched his teeth together in a snarl partly from his anger still burning, partly from the pain that was coursing through him. He tried to suck in air but it was agonizing, like long razor-claws digging in deep.

"Shan, it's okay, it's okay, people are on the way." Kody was babbling in a voice which was pitched high with emotions. "Shan you're okay, you're okay!" She grabbed his hand with her trembling ones and held it there.

"Oh…oh fuck…" Shannon moaned and strained to pull air into his lungs again. "What-what hap-happened…why can't I…" He finished with a series of painful gasps. He was starting to get scared. He remembered once when he was a kid and almost drowned in a lake and that same feeling of hopeless, helpless, fear was overcoming him now because for some reason he felt like he was drowning. He felt like someone had opened his mouth and poured molten lava into his lungs and he was now trying to breathe in such a manner and it was impossible.

Kody looked down at him. His shirt was soaking quickly with blood. Her hands started to shake uncontrollably so she clutched his hand, hoping that she could hold on to her sanity and he could hang on to his consciousness. He was blinking at her but his eyes were starting to go strange. He must be losing consciousness or going in to shock. She called his name and tried to reassure him, tried to reassure herself, hoping she could keep him awake until someone got there. She was terrified and felt helpless as she watched his face drain whiter and whiter. She felt useless as he sputtered for air and his eyes closed tight with the pain. Kody started to cry. She was thinking thoughts she shouldn't be thinking of.

"Shannon, it's going to be okay, shh…sshhh…it's going to be okay." She touched his face with her other hand, she brushed a lock of his sweaty hair away and tried to stifle a sob that was welling up in her. "Shan, can you…can you hear me?" Her voice caught in her throat and then spilled out in a miserable wail. This isn't happening, it's a dream, it's a horrible dream and you're going to wake up and it will be over. She squeezed her eyes shut for a few moments and felt the warm tears rolling down her cheeks. She opened them again and looked down at him, swimming before her in her tears. "Shan?" She whispered his name, because it was all she could do.

He could feel that he was going. It's like when you go under for surgery or something. It's that weird feeling you get when the doctors put the mask on you and tell you to count backwards. Your head is floating and you're trying your damndest to stay alert but things are getting really heavy and dull. Shan managed to pull his eyelids apart one last time. They felt like they weighed fifty pounds apiece. His chest tightened as he tried to breathe, unsuccessful in the attempt. At least he could barely feel the pain now. All he felt was a numb sensation. He blinked up at her as her image before him doubled, then tripled, then started to fade.

Kody looked up suddenly hopeful, as a cop stepped through the shattered French doors and into her ravaged home. Kody brought Shannon's hand to her face, touching it lightly to her cheek, and she broke down weeping.

OMG! Please let me know what you think, and muchos gracias to those who have reviewed past chapters, I greatly appreciate it.


	9. Chapter 9: Pulling Through

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Kody was worn out. First she had to go to the hospital and be checked for trauma and have swabs taken from her body. Then she was questioned by the police. They were good to her, making sure to let her take her time and getting her what ever she needed but she had to relive the whole situation again. She wanted to know if Shan was okay, but instead she had to answer their questions. She wanted Jeff, but she had to describe the man who had attacked her. The detective finally let her go. He assured her they would do everything to catch this man. Her description of him seemed to mesh with descriptions from victims in Fayetteville and Raleigh. It seemed the man who had attacked her was the same man who was wanted for other crimes in the state. She had heard a news report about it just earlier that day. At that time, they had no description of his face, but that had changed. Kody was the first to see his face and so her information was vital. Kody shuttered and managed to get to her feet feeling wobbly and used up as the detective led her outside where Matt was waiting. He stood up and met her half way as she broke down. He folded her into his arms and held her while she cried into his chest.

"Jeff's on his way from the airport. He should be here any minute."

Kody pulled back from him and wiped her nose and tried to control her emotions.

"I-I don't want to be like this when he gets here."

"Kody I don't think you need to worry about how you're acting you have every right to be hurt, upset, pissed, whatever. Jeff's here for you to cry on, he's your husband. He became your own personal Kleenex when he married you."

Kody smiled a bit and dried her eyes.

"Thank you Matt."

She hugged him and sighed, closing her eyes against him as he stroked her hair. She opened her eyes and pulled away from Matt when she heard her name being called, and Jeff's voice was attached to it. He was hurrying toward her with his arms outstretched and he enveloped her in his a strong embrace. Her bones felt like they turned to rubber and she leaned on him, letting him hold her up with his strength as she cried silent tears. He kissed the top of her head and held her close. She felt safe with his arms wrapped around her, she felt secure as she breathed in his scent, she felt protected as he reassured her in his sweet, slightly southern voice.

"Baby I'm…I'm sorry. I love you Kody, baby it's going to be okay, I love you."

She finally drew back from him and looked up at him with swimming eyes. He looked like a wreck and she only wondered what she must like.

"Jeff, I want to go home. I want to go get a bath, they wouldn't let me because…'cause…" She trailed off. "I just feel really dirty. Please, I want to go home and get rid of the smell. I can smell him." She rubbed her hands up and down her arms as if trying to scrub off some unseen filth.

"Alright, I'm going to walk you out to the car real quick, Matt come on I want to talk to you."

Matt followed them out and after Kody got in the car Jeff talked to Matt.

"You going to the hospital to see Shan? What's going on?"

Matt leaned against the car and ran a hand through his curly hair.

"It's…bad. They had him in surgery I guess his lung collapsed on the way to the hospital, I guess stuff was all filling up with blood I really don't know just it's serious. His family's up there…I'm going to go up and see how things are going. I'll let you know."

Jeff hugged his brother and got in the car to drive his wife home.

Jeff left Kody soaking in the tub and started to clean up the mess. It was a surreal feeling seeing his home this way, it was unreal to walk into the kitchen and think: This is where my best friend was stabbed. It was even worse to walk in to the living room and know: This is where my wife was raped. He fixed a tarp to the broken French doors and swept up the glass and cleaned up the blood on the tile. Some of it was Shan's and some was from that dumb fucker. Jeff hoped the guy was on his way to some long, hard, time. Too bad rapists can't get the death penalty, Jeff thought to himself. He had never really thought like that before, but when something happens to one you love, your perspective changes drastically. He was furious that someone would dare violate his wife in such a gruesome and obscene manner. He swallowed a lump in his throat and leaned on the counter. There was something else, he felt guilty.

He had gotten the phone call as he was boarding the plane to come home. Matt had called him and wasn't going to tell him specifics, but Jeff dragged it out of him. There's nothing to describe how it feels to be on a flight the whole trip knowing that your wife is back home needing you like hell and you can't be there and it sure seems like the plane is slow as molasses. Meanwhile the flight attendant who is unaware of anything keeps bugging you, and the kid behind you keeps kicking your seat, and the fat guy next to you keeps snoring with his mouth wide open and spit running from the corner. Jeff broke about every traffic law to get to the police station as quickly as possible. Then, seeing Kody that way, it tore him apart.

"I should have been here." He said to the empty room. He rubbed his eyes and made his way to the bathroom to check on her. She'd been in there for a couple of hours now while he tried to bring some kind of rightness back to the place. The bathroom was saturated with strong floral-soapy smells. The mirrors were steamed up and the air was warm from her bath. Jeff slid down next to the bathtub and looked at her. She was lying back in the tub and only her head was poking up above the suds. She sat up and tucked her knees to her chest as if she felt she had to guard herself. Jeff touched her wet hair and tucked some behind her ear.

"I keep on washing and I keep on feeling gross." She propped her chin on her knees and gave a shaky sigh. "I guess time will take care of it, not soap."

"I should have been here. I should have been home, this wouldn't have happened." Jeff glared at the floor angrily.

"Don't take the blame for something you couldn't prevent."

"I could have, Kody, if I was here instead of gone. I could have!"

"Jeff, please, let's just try and put this behind us. That's what I want to do just put it in the past and run from it until it's just some unrecognizable speck in the distance. I have to think of Harley. He's clueless to everything, he's just a boy and he's going to need his mom not some blubbering, terrified, idiot." She pulled the plug from the drain and watched as the bubbly water swirled and tornadoed out of the tub leaving her naked and still hugging her knees wet and soapy with a few remaining stubborn bubbles. "Can you get me a towel honey?"

Jeff pulled open a drawer handed her a fuzzy towel.

She wrapped it around her shoulders, still hugging her knees. She bit her lip and gave him a sideways glance.

"Jeff, can you go call Matt and check how Shan's doing?"

Jeff took out his cell to call Matt, but then realize what she really wanted. She wanted him to leave so she could dry off and go to the bedroom to get dressed. She didn't want him to see her naked. Jeff left her there and made his way to the living room where he slumped into the couch feeling drained. He called Matt anyway and was told that there were complications with the bleeding, but those had subsided. They were now trying to bring Shan around from the anesthesia which was proving just as difficult.

"They said he could have...uh, neurological damage or organ damage because of lack of oxygen but they won't know yet. They have to get him to come out of the anesthetic and shit."

"Okay, keep me updated…"

"Jeff?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay bro?"

There was a pause and Matt said his name again, as though it were a question.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I don't know how Kody's going to be tonight so I think it's a good idea if Harley stays with you and Blaze for the night. I can come get him tomorrow. Does he know about anything at all?"

"Not yet, but he's smart he's going to realize something's not right. I mean we're all nervous wrecks. He's going to pick up on it like that." Matt snapped his fingers.

"Well one thing at a time I guess. Thanks Matt."

The brothers hung up and Jeff went to his wife who was sitting on the edge of the bed dressed in jeans and a Hardy Boyz shirt. She was brushing her wet hair idly.

"How is he?" She looked up when Jeff sat next to her and draped his arm around her shoulders.

"They're trying to bring him out of the…the anesthetic."

"Trying? What the fuck does that mean?"

Her brush snagged on a tangle and she tore it out with a loud rip.

"Kody, things will be fine. Shan's young and healthy he'll do fine. I'm going to have to kiss his feet…he may have possibly saved your life, one way or the other, he sure as hell risked his." Jeff kissed her cheek.

"I want to go and see him. I want to be there and see him and make sure he's okay."

"He's going to be groggy and tired and baby you're spent too. You need to get some rest." He tried to coax her to lie down but she wouldn't do it.

"No, it's like you said Jeff, he risked his life for me. I held his hand when…when…I was scared that he was…he couldn't breathe and he was in pain…" Her eyes filled up and she squeezed her eyelids tight and tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Alright baby." Jeff said gently and kissed away her tears.

"Jeff please don't…just don't be too touchy-feely yet. I know you're trying to help and it's sweet it's just…" She shivered and wiped her teary eyes on her shirt.

He backed off.

"You don't have to explain anything to me. If I'm doing something wrong just tell me okay? And if you want to go see Shan then that's what we are going to do." Jeff stood up and pulled his keys out of his pocket. The two of them headed to the hospital.

Only one visitor was allowed at a time so Jeff was out in the waiting room chatting with Matt and Shannon's mother. Kody walked cautiously into the room. She hated hospitals. She walked around the curtain and her eyes started to tear again. She had cried so much today she was surprised she had any salt or liquid left in her body. She sat down in a chair that had been pulled up to his bedside. He was hooked up to all kinds of machines and Kody watched the little green line on the heart monitor as it beeped with his heartbeat. His eyes were closed as he was either sleeping or lulling in and out of consciousness. An IV dripped something, probably pain killers, into his arm. A tube was stuck down his throat to breath for him as his lung had failed him and was trying to recuperate itself. She brushed his blond hair away from his pale face and kissed his cheek. She tried to settle her own tears with a deep breath.

She took his hand, minding the white thing that was clamped to his finger to monitor something.

"I can never say thank you enough, I can never tell you how much you mean to me." She touched his hand to her face. "We will pull through together. I'm going to make sure of it. I love you Shannon Moore. I could never ask for a better friend." She sat back in her chair, just holding his hand and watching his chest rise and fall gently with the machine. She felt her own eyes growing heavy, and before she could protest by forcing them open, she had fallen asleep.

Thanks so much for the reviews, keep 'em coming, sorry I took a while to post this chapter. I hope I didn't have anyone biting their nails off wondering what was going on!  Thank you to those who read, I aim to do my best for you guys. Peace out!


	10. Chapter 10: Revealed

Chapter 10

Shan sat up in his hospital bed looking around the room. He had been here for a little over two weeks. The room was getting old to him and he was ready to go home. The small room was filled with all sorts of flowers, balloons, cards, a trash bag of fan-mail, he could only imagine what was waiting for him online. The media always had their way of sticking their nose in and making private matters known. They were calling him heroic, he didn't feel heroic. All he did was attempt to protect his best friend, the woman he loved on many levels, and that didn't seem heroic to him. It seemed only natural.

Shan smiled when Kody came into the room. She lit it up even more than the flowers and balloons and bright cards did. She had been so good to him coming to visit every day. He was now off most of the machines and had been breathing on his own for a while now. His throat still hurt from having that tube stuffed down it and his voice was still a bit scratchy.

"Hey!" She bounced over excitedly. "They said you're going to go home today!"

"Sweet."

"How are you feeling?"

"Pretty good, just want to go home. The food here sucks." He laughed.

"Well once you get home I'll make you something special, whatever you want, okay?"

He smiled at her.

"Enough about me, how are you doing?"

She sighed and shrugged.

"Not bad…it's still kind of tough being in the house and everything. I'm just trying to keep busy and that's helping a lot. Things are a little strained between Jeff and I. He was awesome at first but then things just sort of…he's started to act different. I mean I guess I was a little distant at first because it was hard to cope with but I've been trying to make an effort to be closer but now he's the one seeming distant. I think it just upsets him because he wasn't there to, y'know, play superman and save me or something. He's blaming it on himself."

A nurse came in with a smile on her face and informed them that he could go whenever he was ready. Kody drove him home and fussed over him once they got to his place. He had all kinds of messages on his cell and answering machine from people wishing him a speedy recovery to news people wanting to do stories.

Kody sat down on the couch where Shan was propped.

"Shannon, thank you." She said in a near whisper. She smiled and her eyes welled with tears.

"Don't thank me, I'd do it all over again…only I'd bring a fucking bazooka."

He smiled when that made her laugh.

"Keep this right here." She put his cell phone on the coffee table. "And call me if you need anything day or night don't hesitate okay?"

He nodded. She got up to leave, but before leaving she bent and kissed his eyebrow.

Kody came home all smiles. Today the house didn't even bother her. She was just thrilled that Shan was now doing well enough to go home. She even decided to cook a meal for her family. She pulled out a recipe card. It was Jeff's favorite. She turned on the radio and hummed to it as she put the food together and put it in the oven. She turned to see Stella come in the front door.

"Hey, Sis." Stella said coming over to greet her sister with a hug. With Stella living in the house and especially after both of them dealing with their respectable issues, they had finally become close as sisters.

"Hey, Stell."

"You seem really happy today." Stella remarked as she rummaged in the fridge to find a Mountain Dew.

"Shan got to come home."

"Awesome!" Stella came up with her soda and popped the tab.

"I'm really glad for you too Stell, I'm proud of you. I'm glad you got on at that security place. I know I'm going to miss you around here but I'm also glad you're out looking at apartments."

Stella swallowed a gulp of soda and nodded her blond head.

"I feel like this stuff is finally starting to lose it's grip. I know I'll never be able to shake it completely, but I can restart my life. I found an apartment too, I just got done filling out the papers and I should be moving by the end of the week."

Kody wrapped her arms around her sister.

"I'll throw you an apartment-warming party."

"No, don't do that." Stella sniffed the air. "Mmm…Jeff's favorite?"

Kody nodded.

"Yeah, it's--" Kody stopped for a moment and looked up at the clock, remembering she had to keep track of the time. "Wait, hold on a minute Stell I have to check something."

Kody bit her lip.

"What's going on?"

"I think I might be pregnant…I'm hoping not. I mean Jeff and I were trying but now's not the best time."

Kody left Stella in the kitchen and made her way to the bathroom. She stopped in the doorway when she saw Harley sitting on the edge of the vanity with a white bottle in his hand. He popped open the cap with his other hand which was still wrapped in a lime green cast. He didn't notice his mom in the doorway. He peered into the bottle.

"Harley!"

She grabbed him off the vanity and sat him to his feet.

"What, Mommy?"

She pried the bottle out of his small hand.

"Don't ever get in the cabinet, that's big people stuff and it can hurt you! Why would you do that?"

She held the bottle in one hand she held out her other so Harley could drop the cap into her open palm.

"Well Dad ha-has it sometimes an' I guess I ju-ust thought i-if Daddy has it then how comes I ca-an't has it too." He dropped the cap into Kody's opened hand.

Kody blinked at her son. Her voice was caught in her throat. Her mind pictured him laying on the bathroom floor, staring coldly up at the ceiling, clutching an empty bottle. But he wasn't thank God he was standing right here in front of her. He looked up at her innocently with his big green eyes, his curly hair pulled back from his face, he chewed nervously on his lip ring thinking he was in big trouble.

"This is grown up stuff." Kody found her voice, though it was a bit squeaky, and went on. "It's for headaches and stuff. Don't mess with this ever again, okay sweetie?"

Harley nodded. Kody hugged him and then let him go. She shook her head at him as he disappeared down the hallway to his room. She breathed a huge sigh of relief and then went to cap the bottle. She stopped, looking closer into the bottle. This was not aspirin.

_Dad has it sometimes…Daddy has it how comes I can't has it too?_

Kody remembered all the times she had came into the bathroom as Jeff removed the aspirin bottle right in front of her nose. She didn't need any explanation, he had a headache or some old injury was nagging him. This whole time he had been hiding this from her. He knew she wouldn't find it because she would have no reason to open the aspirin bottle, she was allergic to it. She felt worried for Jeff, hurt, angry, betrayed. She capped the pill bottle and went out to the living room. Her purse was lying in a chair near the door and she stowed the pills away in there. Neither Jeff nor Harley would be into those again. Her hands were shaking as she went back into the kitchen and pulled the oven door down to check on her food. Tears started to sting at her eyes but she held them back. His secret was finally revealed.

"So Kody what did it say?" Stella asked eagerly from the table. Kody closed the oven door and looked up at her sister with an oven mitt in her hand.

"Huh?"

"The pregnancy test, what did it say?"

"Oh…I got distracted." Kody tossed the oven mitt to Stella who looked at her sister knowing very well something was wrong. Kody disappeared again. This time she was going to the bathroom and she wasn't going to find her son with a bottle of pills in his hand. She was going to find out if she was expecting another child. She held the wand in her trembling hand and sighed heavily. It revealed to her that she was pregnant.


	11. Chapter 11: To Have and To Hold

Chapter 11

Harley sat on the steps peering between the stair rails. Kody and Jeff were sitting down stair at the kitchen table. Kody had her hands wrapped around a mug of coffee. Jeff was slouched over with some of his braids falling into his face. Mommy told Harley he was starting pre-school after summer and he wasn't happy about it, but after his parents started acting so different, he was glad. He could go play with other kids instead of seeing Mommy look sad, or wondering how come they weren't talking to each other, or how come they were fighting, or why Daddy got a weird look in his eyes sometimes. There was a bad feeling around the house. Harley wanted S to come over but Mommy said he was sick. Harley blinked at his parents watching and listening.

"Jeff what is your problem?"

"I want to be close to you again."

"It's just going to take time…and that's not all. Look, I'm not stupid. I know you've had problems in the past." Kody paused looking down at her coffee and blowing some of the steam away. "I know what you're doing." Jeff gave her a questioning look, not catching her meaning. Kody went on. "I told you not to blame yourself."

Jeff sat back in his chair studying his wife's face.

"Don't worry about me. I can take care of myself." He muttered.

"No you can't, if you could you wouldn't be relying on this." She pulled from her pocket a small bottle of aspirin. Jeff's color paled when she popped the lid open and dumped the pills onto the table. They sat in silence, Jeff staring at the little pills, Kody staring at Jeff.

"They're for…y'know old injuries…" Jeff tried.

"Don't give me bullshit." Kody barked.

"Stella told you didn't she, when she moved out to her apartment she told you!"

"No she didn't." Kody scooped the pills back in to the bottle. "Your eyes told me something was wrong…I didn't want to believe it was anything like this. I just tried to say you were tired from traveling, or after the…stuff with me…happened I tried to convince myself you were upset over the whole thing. Jeff, do you know how I found out?"

Jeff fidgeted in his chair and sighed.

"Fine Kody, how did you find out?"

"Your son idolizes you, don't you realize that? Everything you do affects him." Kody's face was twisting itself into a look of anger.

Jeff said nothing, just looked down at his hands.

"I caught him in the bathroom getting in to this bottle…"

Jeff looked up at her paling even more. His eyes moved around, not wanting to get caught in her accusing glare.

"He could have taken these, he could have fucking died Jeff because of you and you're stupid habits!" She shoved her chair back from the table and walked to the garbage disposal where she dumped in the pills and disposed of them. Jeff's mouth was moving but he was saying nothing. Kody leaned against the counter, feeling her eyes tear up.

"I—I'm sorry." Jeff's voice was cracking up. "I shouldn't have kept it where he could..."

Kody turned to him with a look of shock on her face.

"That's it? You should keep them somewhere else? Yeah Jeff, keep it where your son won't get in to it, keep it where your idiot wife won't find it, keep it hidden away and no one will ever know. What if you have a test again? Remember about four years ago, right before we met? That was your second failure and you're lucky you've made it this far without being let go for good. You're screwing with you're career Jeff, you're screwing with your life, you are screwing with your family."

She threw the empty bottle in his direction angrily.

"I can't believe you, I'm getting over my problem, I'm starting to move on with my life, and you still sit here wallowing in yours. You can't be a baby when life throws you some rotten stuff you have to find strength inside yourself or from others and you have to pull through. You can't just cloud your head up and expect it to all go away. You have to deal with things. You need to get help."

She left him sitting at the table and went to the living room to put her shoes on.

"Where are you going?" He called walking in behind her.

"I'm going to see Shan. I'm going to check on him." She bent to tie her shoe.

"Thanks Kody, it was fine for you to spend most of your time sitting in the hospital for a couple of weeks while he was recovering, now it's fine for you to take your ass over there just about every day to check up on him? Maybe I need you here, I'm your husband right?"

Kody straightened up.

"Yes Jeff you are my husband. Maybe I needed you for help instead of spacing out on dumb shit, as far as you, you know I'm here all you have to do is come to me but you never asked me for help. You wouldn't care if I hadn't found out! You'd still be keeping your dirty little secrets! I'm going over there because I care about him and he risked his life--"

"Yeah, I get it I know!" Jeff snapped at her. "Shannon Moore the big hero, I'm glad he came in here and stopped the guy, no wait, that guy is still roaming free somewhere."

"Don't say that!" Kody shivered at the mere thought. "Don't take out your problems on him, this isn't his fault, he didn't make your addiction."

"I'm not addicted to anything!" Jeff shouted and balled up his fists furious at her.

"Well, you're never like this. I've had your little bottle for a week. I saw you when you couldn't find it tearing through shit looking for it in a near panic, that's addiction. What you're doing right now is too, you're coming off of it and you're pissed. You haven't been sleeping at night. You've been a different person."

"Maybe you could let me do it my way instead of being underhanded and just keeping it and forcing me cold turkey!"

Kody's mouth dropped open in an O. Her eyes widened, then narrowed into slits.

"Underhanded? I was underhanded because I didn't want my son to get in to drugs? I'm fucking underhanded because I don't want my husband on drugs? Is that what you're saying, Jeff you better get your head out of your ass…or I'll just let you do it your way like you said. I'll let you do it your way and you can be a sneak!"

The two burst into a shouting match. They didn't notice their son curled up on the steps watching with tears in his eyes.

Kody stormed out of the house and drove to Shannon's with tears streaking her face. She dried them before walking up to the porch where he was sitting.

"Hey nurse." He said smiling at her when she approached. He could tell immediately that she was upset and trying unsuccessfully to cover it up. She sat down next to him and tucked some hair behind her ear.

"So, what did the doctor say today?"

"Doing good." He answered. "Seems like everything's working how it should."

Kody snaked her arm through his and looked over him with misty eyes.

"Thank you."

"You've thanked me enough, you don't need to. Thank you for seeing me through this stuff."

"Well, you've helped me too. It's good to get out of the house and come over here and talk with you and fuss over you." She smiled at him a little sadly.

"Kody, what's going on?"

Kody released his arm and took a deep breath.

"Since things…Jeff and I…I don't know." She concluded and squeezed her eyes closed in an attempt to keep them from crying. Shannon put his arm around her and held her close.

"Hey, it'll be okay. You guys love each other and you'll find a way to work things out."

"I know I've been distant from him it's just…it's hard to get close to people now…I'm trying."

Shan took his arm back after what she said but she scooted closer to him.

"I didn't mean you. I feel okay close to you, I guess because we were both there, it's like a common bond." She sniffed and rested her head against his shoulder. "Sounds silly but I feel safe if I'm close to you."

He wrapped his arm around her again. He too loved the feel of being close to her, feeling her form next to him, smelling her sweet smell, just being able to provide her with some sort of comfort.

"Don't you feel safe with Jeff?"

Kody paused for a moment and wiped her nose.

"I did."

"What happened?"

She paused again looking down at her hands and after a few moments she went on a little reluctantly.

"A few days after the ra—incident…I found Harley in the medicine cabinet and he had an aspirin bottle. I took it away from him and it wasn't aspirin. It just—just broke my whole faith in him, my trust in him, I thought he was supposed to be my strength. I needed him so much and he couldn't even help himself out of his own shit let alone help me out of mine…" She buried her face in Shan's chest and wept.

"Jeff loves you."

"If he doesn't care about himself how can he care about me? How can he care about Harley?" Kody touched her stomach and started to bawl harder. "I'm pregnant again and I haven't even told him I've been so upset over everything! I don't even know if it's his baby it could be--" She pressed her face back into his chest and sobbed. Shan held her and let her cry. Her small frame trembled in his arms. Despite Jeff being his friend, Shan couldn't help feeling angry at him. How could he have such a wonderful woman and family and be screwing it up? If she was his wife…_to have and to hold_…Shannon pushed that thought out of his mind. He kissed the top of her head lightly. He needed to get her to work things out with Jeff and ignore his own personal feelings.

"I lo—Jeff loves you." He said again. He scared himself with what he almost said before saying "Jeff". He was trying to reassure her not spill out hi own feelings and add more problems to the heap. Shan went on, hoping he was helping. "And you love him, right?"

"If I didn't, I wouldn't be over here squalling about him." She dried her eyes on Shan's t-shirt sleeve.

"Sometimes I wish Jeff was a little more like--" She stopped letting the sentence remain incomplete. "Sometimes I wish he could just get his crap together."

"Maybe he needs you to help him."

"I can't do it for him, I can't make him change, I can't make him quit, I just can't. He has to. I would support him if he would do it but do you know what he said?"

"What did he say?" Shan asked gently. He wanted to turn her face up to his and kiss her. But it was inappropriate and he wouldn't do it.

"He said he shouldn't have kept them in the cabinet. Not 'I shouldn't have been taking them' or 'I have a problem' but 'I should have hid them better'." Her voice was laden with ire at her husband. It made Shannon feel the same way. He thought about Harley looking up innocently at Kody and holding a pill bottle in his hand, just because he had seen Jeff with it. He glared out over his front lawn thinking.

"I don't know what to think anymore. I need him, but the Jeff I fell in love with isn't the same one I see walking around the house, it kills me. I mean I know I'm a little different myself, but I'm trying to help myself and I'm trying to think of Jeff and Harley not just myself. I could have turned to drugs or alcohol to try to cover up my problems but I haven't. It's been so hard, but I'm trying like hell to move on. I don't want to be dragged down by what that perv did to me--raping me. I don't want it to dominate my life, I don't want it to destroy my spirit and I don't want it to push away the people I love. I don't understand why Jeff does some of the things he does. If he was bothered by something why did he turn back to drugs? I mean it was even before all this happened with me. I'm his wife why didn't he come to me? Why didn't he lean on me and talk to me? That's what I'm here for but he couldn't share his problems with me. Maybe he doesn't want me in his life anymore." She started to cry again, silent tears ran down her cheeks, she sniffled.

"Kody, don't say that. You need to go home and say all this stuff to Jeff, ask him the questions."

"He's not in the condition to talk to right now. I think I should go get Harley and come over here…that's if you don't care. Harley doesn't need to be around us fighting all the time."

"Kody, you know I will do anything for you and Harley…but I don't want Jeff getting any strange ideas about us. I don't want to make things worse. Maybe you should take him to Matt and Blaze's."

"They're gone, traveling."

"I'll leave it up to you. Maybe once you get home you can talk to him after all."

Kody kissed Shan's cheek and thanked him. She drove home. She pulled into her drive way and looked down at her hand which was resting on the steering wheel. She gazed at the band on her finger feeling confused and hurt. _To have and to hold, from this day forward. For better, for worse, for richer for poorer; in sickness and in health; to have and to cherish, as long as we both shall live._

She sighed and got out of the car, shutting the door. I'm the one who is going to have to be strong for us. She walked towards the house, ready to face her husband and to help him if he would let her. _To have and to hold, from this day forward._

_Thank your reviews thus far, they keep me going. Please let me know what you think, I'm sorry this story has been on the sad side compared to my first, but as silly as it sounds I just try to listen to the people in my story and see what they want me to write. Sometimes it's hard for me to write but I have to, the story just takes its own life and own path. So I hope you are all liking the story despite the gloominess. Sometimes that's just how life is in reality...not always a bowl of cherries. Peace out fanfiction peeps!_


	12. Chapter 12: Soggy with Tears

Chapter 12

Kody walked in to the house and called Jeff's name. She was looking around for him and finding him nowhere. She ducked her head in to Harley's room and found Harley curled up on his bed.

"Hey Big H, where's Daddy?"

"He-he left."

Her son sobbed. She sat down on the bed and touched his shoulder and he snuffled his nose.

"What's wrong Harley?"

"Da-da-daddy…le-eft c-c-cau-cause…"

He could barely talk he was so upset and he burst out into a forlorn wail.

"Harley don't cry." Kody felt her own eyes tearing up. She slid down next to him and curled her arm around him drawing him close to her. He was hitching with sobs and howling desperately. "Baby calm down, it's okay, ssshhh…" She held him and stroked his hair.

"No i-it's no-ot Da-da-daddy left cau-ause of me." He burst into fresh tears and buried his face into his pillow. Kody rolled him over and tilted his chin up. He snuffled and looked up at her with swimming green eyes and a heartbreaking look torturing his face. His lip trembled as he tried to keep from sobbing.

"Harley, why would you think that? Daddy didn't leave because of you, you haven't done anything wrong."

He wiped at his eyes.

"I-I got i-in hi-is stuff I wa-asn't 'po-ossed to. Tha-at's why you-ou and Dad be-een f-fight-fighting and ye-ellin' cause I wa-as bad and go-ot in Da-ad's stuff. I'm sorry I di-id it just ma-ake Da-daddy come home puh-puh-lease I don't' wa-ant him to be ma-ad at me." He started to weep again. Kody held him and felt some tears sliding down her own cheeks. She felt so horrible for fighting in front of her son. She felt like he had just reached his little hand into her chest and squeezed her heart and broken it. She found her voice though it sounded small and strained.

"Harley, none of this is your fault. Grown-ups sometimes fight and get mad at each other over grown up things. Mommy and Daddy have had a lot of stuff going on lately and we don't always handle things the right way. Sometimes we get mad at each other and fight, which we shouldn't."

"Are you an-and Da-addy getting' a-vorced?"

"Harley, like I said me and Daddy are just having some problems. Daddy is doing some things he shouldn't be doing and Mommy is having trouble handling it. What matters is me and Daddy love each other and we love you." She kissed the top of his head and he curled up in to her. "I love you H."

"Lo-ove you too Mommy."

"Do you know where Daddy went?"

"He sai-aid he was go-goin' to grandpa's."

She kissed his face.

"Are you okay H?"

"My tummy hurts."

Kody stayed with her son stroking his hair until he fell asleep cuddled up next to her. She was not going to fight with Jeff anymore. He was going to have to get help for his problem. She couldn't let Harley go through this. Children are impressionable, they don't understand, they blame themselves. Kody touched her own stomach, it was feeling hungry. She got up, gently moving her son who stirred a little but didn't wake up. She went into the kitchen feeling tired and drained and wishing things would just magically right themselves, but of course that was a laugh. Kody pulled down a jar of peanut butter from the cabinet followed by a loaf of bread and made a sandwich. She sat at the kitchen table poking at it. After she made it she somehow didn't want it. She went to the phone on the wall and took it out of its cradle and dialed Jeff's cell. She had just about concluded that he wouldn't answer and was ready to hang up when his voice came over the phone, soft and sad.

"Kody…"

"Jeff…"

"What?"

"Jeff please come home I love you. I'm sorry I got pissed off it was wrong--"

"It wasn't wrong." He sounded like he was crying. "You have a right to be mad at me. I couldn't even be there to protect you, I couldn't even help you, I'm ruining everything between us. You deserve a better husband and Harley…Harley deserves a better father." Now she knew he was crying. She could hear him sniffling.

"Jeffrey don't say that, I love you and Harley adores you. I just want you to—to—please Jeff I just want you to get help for yourself so we don't have to fight over things like this. Harley…he thought we were fighting because of him he got all upset and bawled about it until his stomach was hurting. He thought we were getting divorced." Kody reached over the counter and tore off a paper towel and dabbed her eyes with it.

"Maybe…we should…"

Her heart dropped and a sob was welling up in her chest.

"No Jeff, don't say that! I love you no matter what. This is just something we have to work through. It's something both of us have to work through!"

There was silence on the phone.

"Jeff…Jeff…" She pulled out a chair and sat down shakily. "Jeff I'm going to have another baby."

There was still silence.

"I think we should…should um…I-I don't know Kody maybe we should separate for a while until like you said, I can get my head out of my ass." He said through his tears. Kody clutched the phone hugging it wishing Jeff could feel her hug through the phone lines.

"Please, no, I don't want to do that. Harley won't understand and I love you I don't want to be separated from you!" Her head was starting to throb with a migraine. She was begging him, her voice cracking in her pleading.

"I'm staying with Dad okay? I'm staying here until I get better."

There was grieving on both ends of the line. It had to be a few minutes of just the two of them crying into the phone.

"Jeff, I love you." Kody whispered through her sobs.

"I love you Kody…that's why I need to do this. I'm a wreck…I'm not right…I need to get right before I come home. Tell Harley…tell him I'm sorry and tell him I love him and I'll be home when I can okay?"

"Okay." The two of them were still weeping. Kody blew her nose into her paper towel which was already soaked with snot and tears. Jeff hung up the phone and Kody reluctantly put the cordless down. She leaned over her untouched sandwich and cried until the bread was soggy with her tears.

_Thank you for your reviews. I hope you read something cheerful after that, once again, sorry for all the sadness but all marriages must face hard times, all are tried and tested. People are tried and tested and they are either broken or made stronger. We'll see how Jeff and Kody come out in the end. _


	13. Chapter 13: Runnin' Away

Chapter 13

Harley cupped his hands around his eyes and peeked in the screen door. His green eyes roamed around Shannon Moore's living room.

"S, are you ho-ome?" The little boy called into the house.

Shan came to the door and opened it letting Harley in. He had a spider man back pack on his back that was almost as big as he was.

"Hey Big H, where's your Mom?" Shan poked his head out looking around. Kody's car was not in the driveway. Harley's bike was leaning against the porch. Shan looked down disapprovingly at the little boy. "Did you ride your bike all the way over here…by yourself?"

Harley plopped himself on the couch and changed the channel on t.v.

"Yeah."

Shan sat down next to him. He looked down at the Hardy boy who had an angry look on his face.

"That's dangerous H. Does your Mom know where you are?"

"No…she thi-inks I'm ou-outside playin'." He looked down at his lap feeling a little guilty. Shan brushed some of Harley's curly hair away from his face.

"She's going to go out to check on you and she's going to get scared when you're gone."

"So, I don't care. I'm ru-unnin' away. I got's my ba-ack pack wi-ith my stuff in it." He took it off and unzipped it and dumped his wadded up clothes on Shan's coffee table. "Oh…I forgot uh-underwear…can I stay-ay here?"

Shan paused and raised an eyebrow at the weird cartoon that was on the t.v. He sighed.

"I bet you're thirsty after riding all the way over here."

Harley nodded and Shannon went into the kitchen to get some juice for Harley. He pulled out his phone and sent a text message to Kody so she would know where Harley was. Shan came back with a glass and Harley gulped it down.

"So why are you running away?" Shan propped his feet on the coffee table minding not to put his feet on Harley's rumpled clothes and his worn-out stuffed puppy with the missing eye. Shannon looked over at Harley who was licking his lips. He shrugged.

"Da-addy runned a-away from home. He-e's been gone a month. I 'cided I'm ru-unnin' away too."

"You're Dad didn't run away from home, he's…staying with grandpa because he's sick and he's trying to get better."

"Well I ha-ad chicken bumps once and it was re-eal itchy but Mom sai-aid I couldn't scratch it. A-anyways I didn't go to grandpa's to ge-et better."

Shannon laughed and then started to cough.

"Mom sa-aid you were sick that's why you couldn't co-ome over it's the same thing and you didn't ru-un away to grandpa's."

"I know. You're smart, you know that?" Shan tickled him but instead of laughing Harley scowled and snapped at him.

"Stop it!" He snarled and crossed his arms and glared down at his shoes.

"Sorry H…I know you're upset. Your Daddy is going to come back."

"I'm mad at him. He le-eft cau-ause him and Mommy were fightin' but he didn't have to leave me."

His lip started to quiver. Shan pulled the little boy into his lap and looked down into his hurting eyes. Harley blinked up at him wanting to be reassured. He was scared that his Daddy wasn't going to come home.

"It's going to pass. Grown ups do weird things sometimes. He's trying to be a better person."

Harley squirmed away from Shannon. He walked over and looked out of the screen door and then kicked the panel at the bottom with the toe of his Chuck Taylor's. He banged it hard enough to leave a small dent and a dirty little scuff.

"Hey H, don't kick my stuff."

"Why not?" He did it again and harder making the dent bigger. Shan picked the little boy up and tucked him under his arm. Harley kicked his feet and balled up his fists.

"Put me down…put me down!"

Shan obliged and sat Harley on the couch.

"I know you're mad but you don't have to beat up my stuff."

Harley curled up into a ball and hugged his knees.

Shan sighed. He didn't really know how to explain things to Harley any better than he had tried to already. He just let the boy be. Harley flipped through channels and stopped.

"Hey, that lady go-ot's really big--"

"Let's find something else." Shannon took the remote and changed it. Harley pouted.

"Or we can just turn it off if you want to mope about it."

"No!"

"Hey Harley, you know what I was thinking?" Shannon stopped on Smackdown. Santino and Beth were on tagging against Mickie and Kofi.

"I don't ca-are what you're thinkin'."

"Quit being a meanie…I didn't do anything to you. You came over here. If you want to be mean then I can just take you home." Shan stuck out his lip pretending to look sad.

"Sorry." Harley said quietly and cuddled up next to Shannon. Shannon put his arm around the kid. He hoped things would work out for the better. He didn't want to be responsible for putting false hope into his head.

Shan started to cough again and it was painful. He groaned.

"You okay S?"

"Yeah…fine."

Harley eyed him warily. He looked a little pale and sweaty. Shan slouched back against the couch holding his ribs and closing his eyes.

"I'm ca-allin' Mom."

"No, don't bug her. It's just hurting a little it'll pass."

He tried to take a deep breath but a stabbing pain prevented it. He had this nagging cough for a couple of days and it was starting to drain him. He couldn't even get a good nights sleep last night because he kept waking up in coughing fits. He had a check up with the respiratory therapist in a couple of days though, so they would probably figure out what was going on. Harley pressed his small hand to Shannon's forehead.

"You're hot. I think you go-ots a fever."

"I know I'm hot…and so do the ladies!" Shan wiggled his eyebrows acting silly. He tickled Harley despite the pain in his chest and this time Harley giggled and screamed until he was crying happy tears.

"Hey S, wha-at were you thinking be-before?" Harley wiped at his eyes.

"Oh yeah…I was going to say that I bet your Mom is all lonely at home by herself."

Shan watched as Harley's face fell into a frown and he bit his lip ring playing with it. His plan was working.

"I gue-ess so."

"Why don't I take you home? You're Mommy needs you okay?"

His face brightened up and he looked up to Shannon who started to cough into his fist again.

"She needs me, really?"

"Duh…a guy always has to watch out for his lady."

Harley puffed up.

"Yeah I go-ot's to watch out for Mo-om she's my lady."

Shan clapped the little boy on his shoulder and grinned at him. He was getting the hang of this whole kid thing. He loaded up Harley's bike and drove him home to take care of his Mom.

Thank you for the reviews! I appreciate it a lot! :)


	14. Chapter 14: Feverish

Chapter 14

Kody had hoped Jeff could be home to see Harley off to his first day of preschool which was tomorrow. Jeff was still gone trying to figure things out. She was afraid to call. She had called a few times in the beginning and all they did was cry, she was thinking her calling was just making things worse so she stopped. She hadn't heard from Jeff for about a month and it was killing her. It wasn't only killing her but it was killing Harley. He still didn't understand. He wasn't his usual silly hyperactive self. He moped around the house and poked at his food and back talked Kody. She had just gotten a text message from Shannon a little earlier saying that Harley was over there "runnning away". She couldn't believe he had actually left the house by himself and biked all the way over to Shan's.

"Hey, anyone home?"

Kody turned to see Shannon walking through her door holding Harley's hand. Harley wiggled free from Shannon's grasp and ran to his mom with his arms outstretched. He wrapped her legs in a big hug and looked up with her, his emerald eyes wide.

"Mom, I'm sorry I ru-unned away. I'm stayin' ho-ome now so I can ta-ake care of you 'kay?"

Kody smiled down at her son and then up at Shannon. He had obviously had some sort of talk with Harley. His whole attitude had turned around.

"I'm glad to hear you're not going to run away anymore. You had me worried." She reached down and scooped him up in a hug. "Shan I have something on for dinner…why don't you stay?"

"I'm not really hungry, but thanks Kody."

Harley put his lips close to his mom's ear and whispered.

"I'm not 'possed to te-ell but I think he got a fe-ever. He was sayin' fu-unny stuff on the way over here."

Kody set her son to the floor and walked over to Shan and studied his face. He looked tired, his cheeks were flushed, and his face was slicked with sweat. He smiled at her as though he was fine.

"Are you okay Shan?"

"Of course."

She kept her eyes trained on his but his were roaming around. He was fibbing to her. She pressed the back of her hand to his face.

"Shan, you're burning up hot!"

"All the chicks say that." He teased.

"No I'm serious…come here." She took him by the hand and led him to her couch where she made him sit down. She disappeared into the bathroom to rummage around for a thermometer.

"Kody, I'm okay, really." He called to her from the living room and he could feel a coughing fit coming on. He tried to keep quiet but as soon as she came back into the room he gave himself away. He couldn't keep from coughing any longer. At least he tried to hide how painful it was becoming.

"You sound really fine to me…" She eyed him with a worried expression.

"Kody…" He balled up his hand and coughed in it some more. He flopped back on her couch feeling exhausted.

"Open up for the nurse." She smiled at him with the thermometer ready.

He sighed and opened his mouth reluctantly letting her slip the thermometer under his tongue. Harley climbed up next to him and watched the digital numbers rise.

"Sorry I to-old on you S but you look like you don't feel too good. Mo-ommy always makes me feel better whe-en I'm not feelin' good. She ca-an prob'ly make you feel better too."

The white instrument beeped and Kody took it out and read it.

"What does it say my nurse?"

"It says 103.2." She pushed a little button on it and took it back into the bathroom. Shan sighed and wiped his slimy face. He was tired of all this stuff.

"Whoah, tha-at's like really, really, high…ca-an you feel your brain cells poppin'!"

Harley seemed highly entertained by the fact that he was burning with a fever. Shan laughed at the little boy.

"It's possible…actually there goes one now. I can hear 'em bursting." He joked. "If I'm sick you shouldn't get close. Get out of my face so you don't get my germs."

"Gross…" Harley hopped off of the couch and went to his room to play. Kody came back out with a sopping rag in one hand and a pillow in the other. She flopped the pillow down onto the couch.

"Go ahead and lay down. I'm going to see if I can get it to come down, if not you need to go back to the hospital…it's way to high."

He tried to protest but she was pushing his shoulder gently and he was already worn out from battling this on his own. It felt good to lay there with her pressing the cold cloth to his face. She stayed there kneeling next to him and dabbing at his face with the cold rag for a while. He could feel his eyes sizzling with the fever and he closed them. Kody left for a moment and came back rattling a bottle. She handed him a glass of water and dumped two Tylenol in his hand.

"That should help take it down."

He was starting to feel funny again like he had on his drive over here. This fever was getting to him. He swallowed the pills and then felt like laughing for no reason. Next thing he knew he was coughing again and his chest was griping at him with sharp pains.

"What are you laughing about?" Kody asked draping the wet cloth over his forehead.

"I don't even know…" He got back into a laughing and coughing fit. His eyes leaked tears down his red cheeks. Kody smiled at him. He peered at her just watching her smile at him. He could swear she was surrounded in a soft white glow like a beautiful little angel. He was starting to feel overcome with emotion for her. All those things that he had hid away for so long seemed to be bubbling up to the surface with his fever.

"You weren't even going to call me were you? You were going to stay over there by yourself…" She kissed his cheek and felt his hot flesh against her lips. "Poor Shan…"

His eyes were rolling around stinging painfully. He stared up at the ceiling and giggled in pop-corn laughter despite his efforts to keep from doing so. Each laugh made his chest ache. A thought came in to his head and a big silly grin spread across his face. Everything would be okay if she kissed him. She should just lean over and kiss him and the fever would break and everything would feel better. He could imagine her soft lips pressing onto his burning ones wanting. He could urge her lips to part and then he could slide his tongue in warm and wet and in and out…what are you thinking! His thoughts scared him and the fact that he was starting to get aroused in front of her was even more horrifying. His rationale tried to silence the part of his brain that was raging wild with his fever. It's not just wanting her that way, I love her, I love her so much God I wish I didn't have to love her. He felt like crying but his eyes wouldn't water up.

"Kiss me Kody…" His voice came out sounding harsh and strained. "Please I want you to kiss me…"

"Shan don't say that. You're just silly with this fever. It will go down soon."

"What will?" He started to laugh again. The rational part of his mind was getting buried with heat. He started to shiver with his high temperature. "You give me a fever little girl."

"Don't be naughty…" Kody left to run the wash cloth under some more cold water. She wanted this to break soon so he would stop talking nonsense. She came back in and he had closed his eyes. His blond hair was falling into his face and clinging to his sticky skin. She draped the cloth over his forehead and he stirred opening his eyes to slits. She turned to walk away and check up on Harley but he stopped her.

"Kody?" He grabbed at a chord on her black goth-style pants tugging so she would stop. His teeth rattled together uncontrollably.

"What is it Shan?"

He closed his eyes and tried to control his chattering teeth. He managed to still them enough to talk to her.

"Come here…"

She knelt down next to the couch having a bad feeling like something awkward was about to happen. She felt a lump forming in her throat and tried to swallow it down, but when he spoke, it stuck there.

"I love you." His shivers had nearly subsided and his teeth only clacked together with a few persistent shutters. He raised his hand up to touch her face. He stroked her cheek with his thumb and a content smile played on his lips. She was so beautiful, so wonderful, he wanted to lay here and look into her eyes for eternity. That would make him a happy man. He wanted to keep them opened so he could keep gazing at her but they were heavy and tired and they closed again. Kody gently removed his hand and laid it on his chest. She brushed his blond hair away from his face. He started to shiver again.

"You're talking silly." She said and got up taken aback at his comment. He just said he loves me…as a friend? Don't play dumb with yourself. You saw how he looked at you. All of the times they had spent with togehter flipped through her mind and she wondered how long he had felt this way and kept it quiet and hidden away. She got to her feet suddenly feeling tense and strange. He couldn't possibly mean that—he couldn't feel—he couldn't love—Kody took a deep breath and looked down at his sick face. He was just talking nonsense because of his fever. She forced that to be the conclusion of the subject and she went to check on Harley.

_Thank you for reviews (Hatter zombie ate my brains, daisey doodle bug, and everyone else) it makes me really happy to read what you guys have to say, it's really important to me! Peace and love to all who read!_


	15. Chapter 15: If Life Was Like a Fudge Pop

Chapter 15

Kody woke up and felt a twinge of pain in her back. She had fallen asleep in the chair and slept funny. She stood up and stretched and looked down at her bump. She was already bigger than she had been with Harley. She rubbed her eyes and looked over at Shannon who was sleeping fitfully. He woke up and started to cough and groan. She went to the kitchen and came back with a glass of water and a fudge bar. She handed him the water and bit into the fudge bar enjoying the gooey chocolate treat.

"Kody…my chest hurts…I'm dying…" He moaned and coughed some more.

"I'm going to take your temperature again."

She did so and pulled the thermometer out a few moments later when it beeped at her.

"We're going to the hospital now."

He mumbled something incoherently.

"Come on Shannon get up…you have to help I'm pregnant."

"I'm gonna pass out…"

Between the two of them they managed to get him sitting up. He was drenched with sweat from his fever.

"Remember that one time when I was really drunk and I…who are you?"

"Shannon we're going. You're scaring me."

She tried to keep her nerves down. She got him up and draped his arm over her shoulders and prayed they could make it the short distance to the door and then the longer distance out to the driveway.

"It hurts I'm being impaled…by…an impaler…"

"Come on Shan we're almost to the door."

"I mean it really…really…hurts…"

Kody shrieked as the two of them tumbled to the floor.

"Oh shit, when does it end!" She gasped to herself.

She pulled herself out from under him and started to call Matt but remembered he was gone. She called Blaze. He answered the phone blearily and a few moments later he was over. Kody was pressing ice to Shannon's forehead and she managed to get him to open his eyes long enough for Blaze to help him up and drag him outside.

"Kody, just let me take him. You don't need to be in the ER all night with the baby and everything plus Harley has his big first day tomorrow."

Blaze got Shannon into the back of his car and closed the door. He held Kody in a hug.

"Things will be okay I promise."

"Thank you Blaze. If you weren't gay I'd give you a kiss."

"Ah, hell I can make an exception." He released her from his arms and she kissed his cheek. "You know…if any woman could persuade me it would be you. I'll call you okay? I mean about sleeping beauty in the back seat. Well, I'm out of here."

Kody watched as he backe out of the drive. She sighed and went back inside. She curled up on the couch where Shan had been sleeping. The pillow she had given him was Jeff's and now it was soaked with Shan's scent which might have smelled good under other circumstance but now it only smelled sour and sick with his fever. She smothered her face in it crying. She missed Jeff so much. She got up and dragged the pillow into the laundry room and pulled the case off and tossed it into the laundry. She watched it spin in soapy suds for a few moments. She left the linen whirling in bubbles and went to Harley's room. She watched him sleep with his mouth hanging open. He was so adorable. When was Jeff going to come home? She wiped at her misty eyes and twisted the band on her finger. Harley stirred suddenly and shrieked sitting up.

"Harley?"

He rubbed his eyes and looked over at his mom standing in the doorway.

"Mo-o-om…"

She came over holding her lower back, it was still ceasing up on her, damn that chair. She sat down on the bed next to her son. He started to crawl into her lap but realized her bump was getting too big for him to do that. Instead he just rested his head on her shoulder.

"What's wrong Big H?" She stroked his hair and played with his dark curls.

"I ha-ad a ni-i-ightmare…'bout school. I don't wanna go I wa-a-anna sta-ay here with you." He was starting to get worked up aggravating his stutter. Not only had this nightmare aggravated it but she had noticed him having more trouble with it since Jeff left. He got frustrated tangling up his words so much.

"Well why not?" She laid a kiss on top of his head. "I thought you wanted to go play with the other kids?"

"Nuh-no they're ju-ust gonna make fun of me cau-ause I s-s-s-stu-u…" He hung his head dejectedly. " 'Cau-ause I talk funny!"

"It's okay H…you could always whoop they're little butts. You know a bunch of cool wrestling moves." She teased trying to make him smile. "You know I don't mean that…you could hurt someone and you could get into trouble."

"I kno-ow. Doesn't ma-atter anyway-ays I can't be a wre-e-stler. Not when I do thi-is all the time like I go-ots a bad case of hi-ic-iccups." He frowned and crossed his arms and yawned.

"You'll grow out of it. By the time you're ready to step into the ring you will talk perfectly. In fact you will sound so awesome you'll have all the ladies swarming around you begging for you to whisper sweet nothings into their ear."

Her son looked up at her blinking his soft green eyes.

"Wha-at's sweet nothin's?"

Kody shrugged.

"If you do-on't know what it is ho-ow come girls want it whi-ispered in their ear?"

"Harley, don't try to figure us out. We are enigmatic."

"Wha-at's magnetic? I thought tha-at's like the stuff you pu-ut up on the fuh-fuh-fridg'rator and it sticks."

Kody laughed and hugged her son.

"Enigmatic. It means mysterious and unknown. You can't quite figure it out."

"Oh…li-ike reading?"

"Yeah, but you'll catch on to that too. You're still a little kid you don't have to worry about reading or sweet nothin's quite yet."

"Cool. So if I do-on't have to worry 'bout readin' ye-et the-en how come I go-ots to go to school to-morr-orrow?"

"Nice try Big H." She scooped him up and tucked him under his covers. "Everything will be fine, I promise." She brushed his curls away from his face. "Now you get back to sleep and don't have any more bad dreams okay?"

He nodded at her smiling.

Kody went to the living room and flipped through channels on t.v. For some reason there is nothing on at two-o'clock in the morning. An infomercial came on to the t.v. She sighed and rubbed her belly and considered getting another fudge pop. She glowered at the lady demonstrating an excersize machine. She was lean with cut abs and tight boobs. Kody grabbed the remote and turned the t.v. off. She felt like hurling a brick at it and crying.

"I can understand my belly growing but my hips and butt is something else…baby you're makin' your mommy chubby!" She scowled down at her bump, but when she thought of the baby inside it melted into a smile. She went to the fridge and reluctantly grabbed some carrot sticks instead of a much wanted wonderfully chocolatey fudge pop. The dryer buzzed in the other room and she bent to open the door. Her back clenched up on her again and she groaned. "You are also crippling me my dear. I get the distinct impression that you don't like me very much."

She said to the baby and pulled out the pillow case. She pressed it to her face. It was warm and soft but it needed something else. She took it into the bathroom and got down Jeff's cologne. She dowsed the pillow case and then sat down on the toilet lid burying her face into it. It was still not the same. It was just an empty scent with no man behind it to make it perfect. It was like and empty pillow case like the one she held in her hands, it was like an empty bed cold and deserted, it was like her arms with no husband to enfold into them. She burst out into sobs and buried her face into the case again wishing to smell Jeff and have him close and hold him. She went back into the kitchen leaving the formerly clean pillow case abandoned and snotty on the side of the tub. She pulled out the fudge bars and sat down at the table crying and eating one. She peeked into the box. There were three more left.

"You are all meeting your maker tonight!" She sniffled. "I want you and I don't care because nothing you can say or do can change anything. You can give me love handles and I still don't care…cause…he's not here!" She boo-hooed over her fudge pops. It was a horrible thing to be caught in the clutches of regular the regular blues but on top of that her weird hormones were making her have mood swings which only made her underlying feelings of loneliness and yearning for Jeff worse. "When he does come home he won't recognize you 'cause you're going to be a big blob!" She cried some more and dabbed at her eyes. "My baby is going off to school tomorrow too…he's not going to be home with his mommy…he's going out there to the mean stupid fucked-up world…he's only four. There should be a law! Moms shouldn't have to let their babies grow up until they say! Not to mention my best friend is once again in the hospital and for some reason even though I'm a knocked up cow he's in love with me!"

She snuffled her nose and sobbed. She finished her ice-cream in between sniffles and laid the gooey stick onto the table. She dug another pop out of the box and tore open the wrapper.

"If life was like a fudge pop…a fudge pop with no calories…then everyone would live in bliss." She dried her tears and savored the cool treat. "But life's not like a fudge pop…it's more like when those pesky kids come and play ding-dong-ditch with your doorbell. All these shit-headed problems just show up at your doorstep and when you try to grab their little asses they run off and laugh at you because you're a fat pregnant lady."

She sighed and looked up at her ceiling.

"This is ridiculous." She put the two remaining fudge pops back into the fridge. "Next time." She gave them a parting warning as she left them behind in their icy home. "Yes, this is extremely ridiculous…" She said throwing her hands into the air. "Cause now I'm craving enchiladas!"

_Thank you again for reviews...and hatter-zombie...it they were both in love with me too...then life would indeed be like a no-calorie fudge pop...ah. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I hope I don't act this way when I'm pregnant. lol :)_


	16. Chapter 16: Loves Me, Loves Me Not?

Chapter 16

"I'm okay, Kody quit fussing over me."

Kody smiled at him. She could tell he was himself again. He had scared her a bit that night at the house talking about her kissing him and him loving her. She hadn't mentioned it and neither had he mentioned it to her.

"You better be on the mend." She waggled her finger at him in a semi-stern tone.

"I'm all clear, the infection is gone." Shan assured her and gave her a hug. "Thank you for everything."

"No need to thank me." She said taking a sip of iced tea. They were sitting on his front porch.

"How does Harley like school?"

Kody laughed and savored the cool sweet tea.

"Well, the first day he got in trouble…the second day he got in trouble again…and the third day he got a girlfriend."

"Awesome. Is she a babe?"

"She's four. She's cute as a button. When I went to pick him up yesterday she hugged him goodbye it was so adorable." Kody looked at her watch. "Speaking of which, I better be going." Kody struggled to get to get up with her belly making things difficult. Shan helped her to her feet and she laughed looking down at her bump—well it was much more than a bump—and shaking her head at it.

Shan waved a lazy good bye to her. It had been a hard time for him but he was finally well again. It seemed he developed pneumonia from an infection caused by the stab wounds. That lasted a good two weeks and it was horrible. All he could remember was swimming around in a fevery fog with a lot of pain in his chest. But that was behind him now. He smiled as Kody left. He knew something she didn't. He had talked to Matt earlier. Matt had been making visits to his younger brother and he felt Jeff was very close to being ready to go home to his family. It made Shan feel warm and fuzzy inside to think of the two of them patching things up.

Jeff lay back on the bed staring up at a crack in the ceiling. He was thinking of Harley. He had started preschool. He was wondering what his son was up to and if he was being good for his Mom. His Mom, Kody, he hadn't seen her for what seemed like ages. She had probably had a sonogram of the baby by now. It was due in two months. He missed his family so much. He felt he was clean by now but he was just unsure of to what extent the two of them had screwed things up. Maybe Kody felt she and Harley were better off with out him. He frowned. He didn't want that to be true. He had realized he was still madly in love with his wife despite all the chaos and madness that had developed as of late. Was Kody still in love with him? The only way to find out is to talk to her. He fished his cell from his pocket and dialed her cell but she had it turned off. He hung up without leaving a message. He tried the home phone but she didn't answer. He studied the gold band on his finger. It was reassuring to see it and be reminded of what they had. Love sustains us through all no matter what kind of fuckery we get ourselves in to. He smiled and opened his phone again. He sent Kody a kissy-face in a text message. :-

Kody pulled up and watched as Harley ran over to the car with his teacher close behind. He climbed in to the car and quickly put his seatbelt on.

"Come o-on Mommy le-et's go."

"Hello, Mrs. Hardy." The woman tucked some blonde hair behind her ear.

Harley grimaced and cast his eyes down to his hands which were fidgeting in his lap.

"That would be me. Are you Harley's teacher?"

The woman nodded.

"Miss Evans." She stuck her hand through the widow so Kody could shake it. "I just wanted to talk to you about Harley. He's quite a handful."

"Yes, yes he his." Kody grinned over at her son who was acting nervous. "What did he do this time?"

"Mrs. Hardy…is everything okay at home?" The young woman handed Kody a crumpled paper. Kody smoothed it out. It was a crayon drawing. Kody recognized a scribbled image of herself with pink and purple hair and a big fat belly. Next to her was a little boy with dark hair which was obviously meant to be Harley. Far off to the corner was a man with rainbow hair but he had been scribbled over with black crayon. All three figures had huge red frowns on their face. Kody felt a lump grow in her throat.

"Miss…Evans…my husband and I have…had some problems." She was trying not to cry. The picture made her feel heartbroken and guilty. "We're trying to work things out."

No you're not. Kody thought to herself. Jeff is doing his own thing waiting for you and you are doing your own thing waiting for him. You are both scared to face each other after everything that's happened. You're afraid that things might have changed too much, you're afraid that one or both of you will not want to repair things, you are afraid. Kody closed her eyes for a moment and then sighed. She opened the glove box and reached over Harley sticking the drawing inside and shutting the compartment. "I'm going to talk with Harley's father today. Thank you Miss Evans."

Kody parted ways with the young teacher and took her son home. The day seemed surreal. After she had let those words slip from her mouth she knew she had to do it. The drawing kept cropping up in her mind. Harley was not going to draw anymore sad pictures of his family. Kody pulled her hands out from soapy dishwater and watched as it drained down the sink in a whirl. She dried her chapped hands on a towel and looked down at her wedding ring. She closed her eyes and suddenly she was overcome with emotion. She was looking into Jeff's soft green eyes and they were full of joyful tears. He was trying very hard to keep them at bay. His lips were drawn into a little smile so content to know this woman was about to be his wife.

"Do you take this woman?"

"I do."

Her heart was so full she could barely stand it. She was so happy she felt like she might just explode or melt or both. Her eyes ran over and tears washed over her cheeks ruining her make up. Jeff's hands started to tremble as he held her clammy ones.

"Do you take this man?"

"I do."

Kody opened her eyes. Harley was looking up at her curiously.

"Mom, why a-are you cry-cryin'?" He looked down at his toes and then back up at his mom. "Is it 'cause of the pi-picture I drawed today?"

"No baby." She wanted to pick him up and hug him but she couldn't even see her feet anymore let alone bend enough to scoop him up. She settled for tugging on his ponytail. "I'm crying because I'm happy." She sniffled her nose. "Do you want to go over and visit uncle Matt and Blaze?"

"Sure Mom." He gathered up a coloring book and a Batman action figure. Kody grabbed her purse and looked back into the living room before locking the door. Above the fireplace was a framed photo from their wedding day. She felt no different about Jeff now than she had on that day. Kody locked the door behind her. She was going to see her husband.

Kind of a short chapter. What's going to happen are things going to work!! Thank you for reviews! P.S. To Daisy Doodle Bug--yes fudge pops are good…or also pudding pops they're the same thing I think. It's like a popsicle made with frozen pudding kind of.


	17. Chapter 17: Every Rose Has It's Thorn

Chapter

Kody had driven past many times. She wanted to stop but she refrained from pulling her car into the drive because Jeff didn't want to see her until he was ready. She dropped Harley off at Matt and Blaze's and hung around a while to talk to the two. Matt urged her to stop in and see how Jeff was doing. Even though Jeff said he didn't want her to, it would probably do him good to see her, and it would do her good to see him. Kody hugged Matt and Blaze on her way out and climbed into her car. She took a deep breath and played with her keys for a moment before starting the car. She looked down at her belly. Inside was a baby girl who was going to be welcomed into the world in a few months.

Jeff was lying on the bed curled up next to the wall. He was still unsure if it was time for him to go home or not. He didn't want to put anymore burdens on his family, he didn't want to screw things up, he wanted to come home and make things right again. He didn't move when he heard the door squeak open. He figured it was Dad coming in to talk to him or offer him something to eat. Instead, he felt the bed jar as someone climbed onto the it next to him. His eyes teared up knowing. He rolled over and found his wife. He wrapped his arms around her and she wrapped hers around him and they both held each other as well as they could with Kody's belly and they cried. After a few moments both pulled away. He touched her face and sniffled. This was his woman and he was not going to push her away or let her slip away. He was hanging on to her and clinging on to her. How could he have ever imagined what they had could be torn asunder? It was strong despite the bumbling stupidity of their heads and hearts. Love is beyond human manipulation or human foolery. It is an entity in itself and it will continue to thrive despite our efforts to thwart it, despite our own wishes, whims, fears, and mistakes. Jeff tried to still his voice long enough to get out a few words.

"Baby, I'm so sorry."

"Jeff, it's okay…no one and nothing is perfect. You're beautiful to me and I love you with all of your flaws and I hope that's how you feel about me too because unfortunately I'm not flawless either. Every rose has its thorns Jeff but it's still beautiful." She sniffled her nose too. Jeff smiled a bit and brushed his hand across her cheek feeling the softness of it and the wetness of her tears streaking it. They both lay there silently looking into each others eyes trying to read what was there.

"We both lie silently still in the dead of the night." Jeff sang softly, resting his hand on Kody's shoulder.

"Although we both lie close together, we feel miles apart inside." Kody sang back to him in a voice quivering with tears.

"Is it somethin' I said or somethin' I did…"

"Did my words not come out right…" Tears leaked from her eyes and Jeff wiped them away with his thumb.

"Though I tried not to hurt you--" Jeff kissed her forehead lightly.

"Though I tried…" Kody echoed softly.

"But I guess that's why they say…"

"Every rose has its thorn, just like every night has its dawn." Kody sang in a whisper and snuggled into his chest.

"Just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad, song. Every rose has its thorn." Jeff cooed sweetly in her ear. His voice was wonderful to hear after being apart so long. He stroked her silky hair and tears leaked from his own eyes.

"Every night has its dawn Jeff." She said pulling away from him and looking up into his face. "We're going to have our dawn too…we're going to be fine, we're going to be better than ever." She pressed her lips gently to his. He coaxed them open just a bit to make the kiss deeper. She could feel him trembling, or was she trembling? He drew back from her and smiled. She rested her hand on the side of his face feeling his rough stubble. It felt like falling in love all over again.

"I love you." They both said at the same time.

"Jeff…we need you…will you come home?" She whispered in a voice that splintered into weeping.

He nodded and fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. She kissed them away. She hoped she could always be there to dry his tears. She hoped their days of separation were coming to a close. She managed to roll off the bed as Jeff crawled off and started to gather his things.

Kody drove Jeff home and left him at the house and then drove back to Matt and Blaze's. She picked up Harley who was bewildered. She had dropped him off only an hour ago and now she was taking him home again. He was quiet on the way home, not asking questions.

"Mom I wa-anted to stay wi-ith uncle Matt an-and Blaze." He whinned as they walked in to the house.

"Well I wanted you to come back home for tonight. Come on, let's go to your room and I'll tuck you in and tell you a story."

She followed him to his room and she was grinning so big her ears hurt. Luckily Harley was paying no attention to his mom walking behind him. Harley walked into his room and stopped. He blinked up at his dad sitting on the edge of his bed. Jeff immediately burst into tears, followed by his son, who hopped up into his lap and buried his face into his dad's chest. They both cried as Jeff held his son in a big hug.

"I'm sorry for everything that's happened H, I love you." Jeff kept whispering to his son over and over. Harley sobbed. Kody sat down next to them crying too. They had all done enough crying to last them for a life time and she hoped all these tears would soon be replaced with smiles. Harley drew away from his father and looked up at him. Green eyes met green eyes and they locked.

"Da-dad-daddy you're no-ot leave-leavin' no mo-ore?"

"No Harley, I'm not leaving anymore. I'm where I belong."

The little family sat on Harley's bed talking until early in the morning. Harley was too excited to go to sleep, but around three even his excitement couldn't keep his eye lids opened any longer. Jeff and Kody tucked their son into his bed and pressed kisses to his forehead. The two of them sat on the floor with their backs propped against his bed. They linked fingers and talked quietly for a couple more hours. Jeff finally stood up and stretched, his back popped and he groaned a bit. Kody stood up too and wrapped her arms around him.

"I'm going to bed okay?" He kissed her lips and left Harley's room for his own bed which he was finally going to sleep in again. Kody stood in Harley's doorway looking down at her son. One hand strayed to her stomach and she rubbed it. She looked up, noticing fingers of yellow light slide through the slats in Harley's blinds. They lined the floor with a warm glow. She felt a similar warm glow sprouting inside of her. Things were on the upside once again. A smile spread across her face as she turned to leave the room. Outside the sun was rising putting and end to the dismal darkness of night, and likewise inside, the darkness was clearing away. Kody slipped into bed next to her husband who was already sleeping. She wrapped her arms around him, glad to have him close. It was right for them to be together and it was right for them to hold on to each other. She was never going to let him go. She closed her eyes and hummed softly.

"Every rose has its thorn, just like every night has its dawn."

A smile spread across her face and she drifted to sleep, knowing the dawn was coming.

_:) Thank you all so much for reviewing it means a lot to me. Did you like the story? What do you think of certain characters? Please let me know criticisms along with things you like. I hope you enjoyed the story despite some of the sadness. What could I do to improve? You are allowed to use tough love lol. Story 3 soon to follow…Jilly makes a return to Cameron…why? She has a surprise for Matt. P.S. I used lyrics between Jeff and Kody I don't know if people will recognize them or not. It's Every Rose Has It's Thorn by Poison. If you don't know the song I encourage you to download it and give it a listen it's great. I hadn't planned on this chapter ending this way but I listened to that song a lot and it always reminded me of Jeff and Kody and their situation in this story so I really wanted to fit it in and it kind of warmed my heart. I hope it worked well. Well enough of my gabbing, time for you to gab, please!! I like/ appreciate your feedback very much. _


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